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Do I Matter?

by Fern Kazlow, EdD

No, this isn’t a question about whether you are important or cool enough. Rather, it is a question of whether you make a difference in the lives of others – and the kind of difference that you make.

As you look around, you see examples everywhere that tell you how you can get what you want by better focusing your attention. Using this "law of attraction," you can shape your day, your life and fully succeed in everything you do. Notice the "your, your, your…"

Well, in the mix of all this focus on our incredible ability to bring wealth, joy, and abundance into our lives, an important ingredient is often left out.

What is it? It’s the fact that life is not only about us. It’s about our inter-connectedness. If we try to create wealth for ourselves only, with little regard for others, things are likely to backfire. Although we live in a universe of resonance, focusing on positive thoughts alone doesn’t work. And even when people try to add action and feelings to those thoughts, they often still find themselves wondering why their approach isn’t working.

The Key is Alignment, Not Attraction

Well, the law of attraction is ruled by the law of alignment. If we aren’t lined up with ourselves, our destiny, our Source, we won’t attract what we want. If we’re not lined up with our community, things go awry as well. When we get in line for wealth, without recognizing the importance of wealth beyond money, and wealth for all, we are, in fact, living in scarcity. And that is exactly what we get.

Take John, for instance. A client of mine, he came to me because after working with several coaches on achieving greater success in his business, he simply wasn’t getting the results he desired. He studied the law of attraction and worked on positive thinking. He did everything he could to get at the top of his field. But neither he nor the coaches understood why it wasn’t working. When we started working together, we discovered the problem: He was focused too much on what he could get and not enough on what he was giving. Instead of getting what he wanted, he ended up getting very little. In contrast, when he began to focus on what he could give,
he achieved all the success he was looking for and more!

And that’s the most critical thing to realize. One of the best ways to get what we want is to instead focus on the seeming opposite: what can we give. When we do this, we truly join the resonance of abundance.

So when we plan our day by setting goals and priorities and listing tasks to complete on our way to success, we need to ask ourselves: "What are the unspoken messages? Are we holding on, afraid, disconnected and concerned that there isn’t enough for us and for them?" When our focus takes us to the point where it is "us vs. others," we always lose.

How to Make Life Worthwhile

We are not important because of our monetary success alone. Of course, we
don’t gain any points for lack of success either. Rather, it is contributing, mattering, giving to others, doing what we came here to do, while partaking of the wealth and abundance all around us, that makes life
worthwhile. If we want to receive, practice giving. If we want support, give it to others. You might be surprised by the results.

For instance, many years ago I worked with a woman who was charged with convincing people to implement a very unpopular law – a law that made the jobs of those she was supervising much harder. How did she approach it? By asking those she worked with how she could help them instead of just telling them what to do. The result was that she was successful in getting their cooperation quickly. Within a few months, her district started operating smoothly while other districts were still struggling to implement the mandate.

If you want true power, give it to others. If we try to take power and control others, you will never have it. Think of the leaders that you respect – how do they live, govern and lead?

What’s Your Legacy?

Last month, I presented at the Women’s Business Empowerment Summit in Scottsdale, Ariz.ona, and shared the stage with a number of wonderful speakers. One was Brendon Burchard. He wrote a book I highly recommend – Life’s Golden Ticket. Ten years ago, Brendon was in a car crash that nearly took his life.

Realizing how close to death he had come, Brendon promised God that if he
lived, he would earn his second chance at life. Daily, he asks the question: "Did I matter today?" In his discussion, he asked us to think about: "What would people say about you if you died?" See if it’s the
legacy you want to leave.

After his talk, I started thinking about some of the most important comments I have heard from readers…not just the comments about money but about how I’ve helped them achieve wealth throughout their lives by claiming their true power and joy. A colleague said this morning that
when she thinks of one word for what I give people, the word is empowerment. And that’s exactly the legacy I want to leave.

What is it for you? What would your family, friends, and colleagues say about you if you were to die unexpectedly? Is it what you would want them to say? I have joined Brendon in asking the questions: "Have I loved today? Have I mattered?"

What about you?



Dr. Fern Kazlow, Ed.D., is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur. A licensed clinical psychotherapist, she founded Integrative Therapy and Integrative ActionTM in 1981. She has served as mentor and consultant to health professionals, entrepreneurs, Wall Street executives, and business professionals. Dr. Kazlow founded the Rapid Wealth SystemTM to increase your income and expand the riches throughout your life. The Predictable Jackpot: Secrets of the Rapid Wealth System is the first part of her home study program and is available now. For more info visit www. drfern kazlow.com or email info@drfernkazlow .com.

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Article Archives  This Month's Articles  Click Here for more articles by Fern Kazlow, EdD
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