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Ten Steps to Being Yourself

by Dawn Mellowship

Our lives run at such a fast pace that when we do stop and take stock we sometimes start to wonder who we really are. Author and Reiki teacher Dawn Mellowship offers tips to help you unleash the real you.

“Who are you?” If you had asked me that question 10 years ago I would not have been able to give you a definitive answer. At the time my existence was driven by my physical desires and I was lost for all direction in life.

Now, the situation is very different and my intuition guides my thoughts, words and actions, but getting to that point was a phenomenal journey, one filled with many self-produced obstacles and fears. Despite the incontrovertible challenges, choosing to follow my intuition and spiritual path was the best decision I ever made. In my opinion, it is the only true path to genuine happiness, one that we can all take. Without our intuition life becomes an unfathomable mystery. I believe that it is the key to knowledge about the universe and our place in the universe.

The term ‘intuition’ is something we hear bandied around a lot by spiritual teachers, life coaches and other self-help experts. We know we should trust in it, but what exactly does intuition mean? The Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines intuition as “Knowledge, obtained from an ability to understand or know something immediately without needing to think about it, learn it or discover it by using reason.” But how do we know something without reason? Scientists cannot precisely explain the mechanism of intuition yet, but in 2005 research at Washington University, authored by Joshua Brown Ph.D. and Todd Braver Ph.D., found that the anterior cingulate (ACC) part of the brain becomes more active when an individual is about to experience something that might cause them harm. Acting as a kind of warning system, the ACC is believed to help the individual identify and avoid risky situations on a subconscious level, recognising when a mistake is about to be made. In addition, it is known that the brain generates its own EM field and Professor Johnjoe McFadden, School of Biomedical Sciences, of the University of Surrey has proposed that this field is “the seat of consciousness,” perhaps this what others would refer to as intuition.

My personal belief is that intuition refers to messages transmitted by an electromagnetic energy field around the brain and possibly within the body (our soul) that can inform our choices and actions in life, if we choose to take heed of those messages. If we ignore our souls’ guidance, we find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.

To help you access this inner voice I have provided ten steps. If you manage to take them all on board you will start to feel yourself changing and feeling more yourself. Our circumstances and upbringing create a mould for us that dictates most of our decisions and choices in life. By looking within for answers you can shatter this mould and find genuine peace, happiness and enlightenment.

  1. A simple and fun way of getting to grips with your intuition is to get together with friends and practice the following technique. Grab some paper and pen each and then pair yourselves off. In pairs, sit quietly looking at the other person for a couple of minutes, clearing your other thoughts and then write down some intuitive insights into that individual. As it is someone you are already familiar with, try to write down things that you wouldn’t already know about them. Search a bit deeper for insights into their soul and spiritual path.

Once you have written down several of your intuitive thoughts, exchange them with each other. If you practice this regularly you will start to distinguish your intuitive insights from your physical and emotional drivers.

  1. The following technique is adapted from my forthcoming book and will help you to establish a connection with your intuition. We are very intuitive at birth but we often lose this connection due to our emotional traumas, upbringing and external circumstances. This exercise will help to re-conflate or strengthen that intuitive bond.

Sit down comfortably either on a chair. Make sure your back is straight. Have your hands palms facing upwards, in your lap.

Close your eyes and visualise a white Light coming down through space as far up as the eye can see and entering the crown of your head, like a radiant beam. Allow the Light to enter your body. As you breathe out, feel the Light pulsating through your body.

Place your hands in gassho (prayer position) in front of your chest. Silently say to yourself, seven times, “I open myself up to the will of the Universe.”

Move your hands, still in gassho, up over the top of your head and rest them on your crown. Repeat the above affirmation seven times.

Place your hands over your stomach, with your middle fingers meeting at the navel. Silently say to yourself, seven times, with meaning and purpose, “I allow my mind, body and soul to heal; I am connected to the universe and the earth.”

Breathe the white Light out of your body and back into the Universe.

We are often kept awake at night worrying about various problems in our lives, which ultimately block our intuition and progress. If something is really troubling you it is always good to have a method to help solve some of those problems. The technique below is a simple and intuitive way of problem solving.

Sit down comfortably either on a chair. Make sure your back is straight. Have your hands palms facing upwards, in your lap.

Visualise a huge vivid golden flower with numerous petals in front of you and see the problem written in the centre of the flower.

Imagine a solution appearing on one of the top right petals. Don’t think about the solution or whether it is valid or not, just allow it to appear.

Imagine another solution appearing on the petal next to it (in a clockwise direction) and again don’t think about it, just let it appear.

Repeat this process until you can no longer think of anymore solutions.

Write down all the solutions you have come up with in any order.

Re-visualise the flower with the solutions on each petal. Think about the first one on the piece of paper and see it on one of the petals.

Try to clear your mind of other thoughts and ask your intuition if that solution is the best one for you. If so it should stay on the petal, if not it should drop away. If it is not the best solution the petal will fall off the flower and you should cross it off your list.

Repeat this for all the other solutions until you left with the most appropriate solution.

Spend at least one night (or a whole day if you manage it) by yourself without any external distractions. Turn off the television, avoid having any music playing, simply sit in silence and see where your mind takes you.

5. Take up an activity which quietens the mind and helps you to relax such as Tai Chi, Qi Gong, Reiki, Meditation or Yoga. Make an effort to undertake this activity at least twice a week to help you devote some time to your personal development and to give you a better understanding of your own body, mind and soul.

When you are in a stressful situation and you feel your heart thumping rapidly, take time out and wherever you are put your focus onto your heart area. Breathe slowly and deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth, counting for four on the in breath and five on the out breath. Visualise your heart beating and in your mind see it slowing down with each breath out. As you mentally slow down your heart think about a time in your life where you felt blissfully happy and allow that thought to consume your mind and your heart.

7. Good nutrition is all part and parcel of intuitive awareness. If we love ourselves deeply and unconditionally we want to nourish and nurture our bodies with foods that help our bodies to function like a well-oiled machine, rather than an overflowing waste disposal unit. If you take good care of your body you will automatically feel better about yourself. Think pure and simple, with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables (preferably organic), beans, tofu and lentils, grains nuts and seeds. Get an adequate supply of essential fatty acids. Cut out or cut down on caffeine, switch to herbal teas and avoid packaged processed foods. Drink fresh fruit and vegetable juices, rather than fizzy drinks and reduce your intake of red meat. Oh and drink plenty of H2O. It’s easy really! Always be sure to consult your doctor or other relevant practitioner before embarking upon a new dietary regime.

8. Sometimes when we are going through a tough situation it can feel like the world is collapsing around us, but when we help others, we discover that other people are in similar situations. By helping them we help ourselves, we learn and grow emotionally and spiritually and feel like we are giving back to society rather than draining the life out of it. Use your intuition to help others, listen to the advice you dish out and apply it to your own life. The more you enrich the lives of others, the richer your life will become. Give the people around you what they truly need from you, whether it is harsh home truths, a hug or a listening ear. Help those who cross your path, by doing what feels intuitively right to you.

9. In the healing therapy I practice called Reiki, it is believed that to attain enlightenment we need to unite the physical, emotional and spiritual within us, so that our spiritual bodies guide our physical and emotional choices. Our physical body is associated with our tanden (3cm below the navel), our emotional body with our heart and our spiritual body with our third eye (at the midpoint between the eyebrows). Use the following exercise to facilitate this connection.

Sit down comfortably either on a chair. Make sure your back is straight. Have your hands in gassho (prayer position) in front of your chest.

As you breathe in slowly visualise a white beam of light descending from as far up as the eye can see and entering the top of your head. As you breathe out slowly see the light travel down to your heart and your tanden.

For 10 minutes quietly focus on the beam connecting your tanden, heart and head and each time you breathe out see that beam grow stronger and brighter.

10. One of my golden rules is to remember to take responsibility for my actions. It can seem easier to lay the blame elsewhere, but ultimately we all have choices to make in life and are choices determine where we are in the here and now. We know deep down when we have flouted our intuition and taken a course that deprives us of happiness. The best thing we can do is to learn from the choices we have made in life. Be prepared to put your hands up and say, “You know what, I really messed up, but, I have truly learned from that experience and I am a better person because of it.” Once we accept responsibility for our actions we can change our future and ourselves for the better.

Dawn Mellowship is an author, Reiki teacher, journalist and ethical stylist. Her first book, Passage to Freedom is out on 28 February 2008, available from Amazon and book stores worldwide. For more information see www.dawnmellowship.com, email: info@dawnmellowship.com, tel: +44 (0) 208 367 9158.

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