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Owning Your Power

by Fern Kazlow, EdD

"You didn’t press the button."

One of my most crucial life lessons happened innocently enough in an elevator with a very close friend. We were in our late twenties. The door to the elevator had closed and we weren’t moving. Elaine said to me "You didn’t press the button." I sort of nodded, mumbled, and pressed the button.

Sounds harmless, right? Well it wasn’t. I had re-committed quite a serious personal crime — I had betrayed myself! Some place in me knew that I had pressed the button a few seconds earlier, but I didn’t tell that to my friend. More importantly, I had covered-up my natural, fluid, knowing … rather than disagree with her.

Well, that simple experience turned out to be a benchmark — one of those great lessons of my life! Unfortunately, I had suffered this crime before in much more substantial ways, but now, while standing in the elevator — I got it!

In that innocent act of not immediately affirming what I knew, I had given my authority away — along with my knowingness. Many of us do it too often. We take it for granted. These little instances get bigger and bigger until we don’t remember who we really are. Our natural orientation to here-and-now Self presence and its effortless, expanded understanding becomes unclear … and we may not know how we feel, or what we really know.

We’ve transplanted our natural "knowing" … with the feeling of "not knowing."

We simply get in the habit of not knowing. We identify with not knowing. We think that is who we are, how we function, and how we feel.

It’s incredible how far away we go in energy and feeling from our essential Selves. As I teach people to read their own energetic patterns, it’s clear that they are often out of touch with how they feel. Do they feel strong or weak? Is their energy supporting them or not? Although not knowing how you feel is very common, the consequences can be dire.

You are fortunate if your energy is configured in such a way that you get what you want by default. That is, your energy is on automatic pilot, and as it naturally interacts with the universe, you are getting what you want and need.

But let’s be clear: You can only get what you want if your energy supports what you want. If you can’t tell what you are energetically supporting, you don’t know what you are broadcasting to the universe. As a result, you may not have a clue as to how you ended up where you’re at. You may be experiencing relationship hell, suffering chronic illness or trapped in repeating patterns that you would never consciously choose. Like a magnet, your vibrations attract the thoughts, feelings, dreams, situations, people and events to you, that are a resonant-match to your core vibrations. Once you realize that this is the way the universe works, you can actually tweak and customize your essential frequencies, to align with what you want to experience in your life.

Be an ally to Self Knowledge and Self Power … for yourself and for others as well.

If you are not owning your authority — you’re circulating in a powerless dance that is out of step with your true nature. We don’t like the feeling of being Self-weak, or powerless, and yet we get stuck there over and over again. As much as we dislike it, we reinforce it in ourselves and promote the same feelings in others.

How many parents or educators teach children to truly trust themselves? … to claim their power! … to stand up for what they know to be true?

Parents routinely tell their children whether they are hot or cold, hungry or full, tired or not, angry or sad, and even how they should feel in situations throughout the day. In so doing, parents throw their children’s sense of Self into darkness, and cover-up the effortless expression of what they naturally know and feel. Parents turn them into their own look-a-likes, so that they mirror and share their feelings, thinking, and points of view, or in an attempt to preserve themselves, the children may adopt beliefs and feelings that are in strong opposition.

Why do parents do this? Simply because they have not found the balance in themselves — energetically, emotionally and spiritually.

If we are out of balance, off center, and do not trust our own authority and innate guidance system, we often give our power to others, subconsciously, only to resent it later. For example …

Denise was thrilled to have found James, a strong, confident partner. Things were great for about a year, when Denise started to feel angry and resentful. It seemed to her that James was suddenly making ALL the decisions. Yet, it wasn’t sudden at all. And while she blamed him and told him he was trying to control her, she had actually handed her power over to him right from the start. They energetically agreed to this in their relationship, and it became a habit that neither of them noticed until Denise started to grow stronger. The power given to and accepted by James at the beginning of their relationship, felt romantic to Denise at the time .. but now the same dynamic in their relationship had her feeling weak, like a "second-class citizen."

The Quest for Personal Power and Freedom

Some of us may be disillusioned by the idea of personal power. Perhaps in the past, we’ve gone after it, and we became entangled in energies of struggle, manipulation or domination. Our honest attempt to realize personal power, backfired. But, we can view such events as educational opportunities that we bring us wisdom, as they will help shape our journeys into the Self of our future.

Though previous journeys to realize personal power may have failed, what we seek has not gone away … it still lives inside each and every one of us. We’re looking for the balanced, integrated, unified, feeling-good Self-Power, that activates our love, our hope and our inspirations. The original qualities of the power that radiates from the silent core of your being … that power desires goodness and freedom — not only for yourself, but for the children, the grandchildren, and the whole planet as well.

Let’s work together –energetically and spiritually– to transform the thoughts, feelings, and limiting beliefs that cloud the knowing from the inner power stations of our true natures. Let’s step into the main current of our central energy, feel its mysteries, and nourish it with kindness and care. We are the power authorities of our personal realities. Let our authentic expressions reveal themselves in unique, clear, and honest ways … so that the harmonious future secretly nourished in our collective hearts, becomes our certain future and destiny.

Dr. Fern Kazlow, Ed.D, a pioneer in mind-body healing and energetic psychotherapy, established Integrative Therapy and Integrative Action™ in New York City in 1981. She has appeared extensively in the national media. For more information or a schedule ofwinter and spring events, Dr. Kazlow can be reached at 914.833.2005, 212.496.6611, or Info@integrativeaction.com. Visit Dr. Kazlow’s website at www.integrativeaction.com  for up-to-date schedule.



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