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The Last Taboo: Money Problems (Part2)

by Fern Kazlow, EdD

Getting the Help you Need

If you are ready to deal with your money — and its connection to every other area of your life — getting the right kind of help can make all the difference between creating the prosperity you desire — and not.

John was ready. He was tired of repeating the same patterns over and over. He had built three fairly successful businesses, but he always reached a wall. He could never manage to make all the money he wanted AND keep balance in his life.

John looked to coaching to break through the barriers that always stumped him. His coach helped John stay focused and was easy to talk with. The coach was positive and held him accountable for meeting his objectives. All seemed well … in the beginning. Yet, once again, John found himself disappointed. After much time, money, and effort, he still couldn’t bring in the cash and create the life he dreamed of. Asking his coach why he couldn’t attain his goals, John was told that he wasn’t giving it his all. He needed to muster more willpower. He needed to visualize his goals more consistently.

The coach’s assessment of the problem: John. The truth: it is this very perspective that points to a major limitation inherent in most success coaching, counseling or mentoring. While these processes can help you to make some changes, their very nature keeps them from assisting you in creating the deepest level of transformation in your relationship with money. The bottom line is — the focus and toolbox offered by the coach lacked the know how to change John from an attractor of "just enough" money to an attractor of great prosperity in every area of his life.

Coaching Strengths are also its Weaknesses

In fact, the things that people like about coaching, also contribute to its limitations:

1. Coaching provides a great sounding board, but you may end up getting lost in the chatter.

2. Coaching holds you accountable, yet is often judgmental as well (this is not the same as discernment which is desirable).

3. Coaching aims for solutions, but be aware that these still hold the seeds of the problem and are apt to recreate it eventually.

4. Coaching provides strategies and tactics; it doesn’t give you principles, process and tools to radically change the relationship between your psychodynamic, energetic and spiritual aspects.

5. Coaching strives to stay focused, but this may lead to more superficial or short-lived results.

Who is your coach?

If we go back to John, his coach couldn’t help John become as financially successful as he desired — because he didn’t know how to make lots of money for himself.

So how do you get the help you need to move into greater prosperity? This is a critical question because so many people in the business of helping others make money, coaches and other advisors, often have prosperity issues themselves.

In choosing a coach, advisor, or mentor there are questions you must ask. Who is this person? What is their background? Individuals who coach may have limited experience as an entrepreneur, or corporate executive themselves. They may be motivated by the enjoyment of advising others or by the desire to work for themselves. In fact, coaches are often recruited, with ads promising that becoming a coach will be the salvation for their own money problems.

Among the coaches are therapists with varying degrees of experience and success working with money and business. Some have had difficulty building their own practices. They don’t want to deal with managed care and think it is easier to build a coaching clientele than a fee for service practice. While some therapists are well qualified, you need to do your homework to be sure.

Also in the coaching/counseling arena, are many women who have been out of the work force taking care of their kids. They don’t have the resume that the business world is looking for but may feel they have lots of life experience that qualifies them as a coach. Check them out first, before assuming that they have direct, first-hand experience of prosperity that they themselves acquired.

And of course, money coaches are drawn to this arena because they have struggled with these issues in their own life. Two important questions: Have they resolved their issues? Can they help you resolve yours?

How to Decide

Interview your coach before hiring them. Don’t be afraid to be direct. Ask them: What is your experience? Have you made any real money in your own life? Have you kept it? Inquire about their own business experience.

If your coach has been successful in one area of business, are they wise in other areas as well? What about their success helping others do the same? Ask about the businesses they have worked in personally as well as the ones that they have helped others grow. Are the areas they’ve worked in helpful to the community, humanity at large and the planet? Request testimonials and recommendations. Find out about the problems they’ve faced and how they resolved them. Talk to your potential teacher about their failures as well as their successes. Ask them how much free time they now have for their family. Be leery of vagueness, blaming the client, or not making any real money himself or herself. How busy are they? Availability is great — are they too available?

Look for specifics, not jargon. Look for teachers, guides, with real credentials in business, education and references that can vouch for the positive transformations that they’ve helped to create.

Explore your issues openly with them. If you want to make six or seven figures, find out if they know how. If you want freedom, balance, lifestyle, look at how they live. What is their philosophy about how hard you have to work to have what you want?

It is important to be clear what you are looking for. Coaching can be excellent to teach you how to interview for a job, master copywriting skills, or learn about Internet marketing, and much, much more.

Learning to get out of your own way, make money, attain business success and fulfillment requires more. A teacher with a solid blend of business experience, life experience, and transformational know-how, can tune-into where you are at and help you to create the life you desire.

You need someone who recognizes why you are having difficulty and helps you originate and customize a plan. You need someone who understands the energetic nature of money and the interrelationship of your money with the rest of your life.

Further, make sure you and your potential guide are a good fit. Do they have a "one size fits all plan" or can they (continued on page 16) truly individualize?

What if you’re already in a coaching situation? It isn’t too late. If it’s not working, don’t hesitate to talk with your coach and ask why? Don’t buy the blame the victim answer — but at the same time, fully accept your responsibility.

If you are ready, find a guide who will help you connect the dots… aligning your current everyday reality, your energy, your mind-style and spirit so that your whole life comes together and really works!

Finally, when selecting a coach, counselor or guide, listen to the tone of their voice and determine their intentions, their sincerity and humanity. Be intuitive. If you are going to work with a teacher, make it a good one.

Money is energy and encoiled in it are great hopes, vast potential, and when you get it — responsibility. With this in mind, make sure your teacher is a professional who not only knows what she’s doing, but whose greatest wealth is a heart of gold.

Dr. Fern Kazlow, Ed.D, a pioneer in mind-body healing and energetic psychotherapy, established Integrative Therapy and Integrative Action™ in New York City in 1981. She has appeared extensively in the national media. For more information or a schedule ofwinter and spring events, Dr. Kazlow can be reached at 914.833.2005, 212.496.6611, or Info@integrativeaction.com .  Visit Dr. Kazlow’s website at www.integrativeaction.com   for up-to-date schedule.

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