Excerpt from "Hey Waiter.... There's God in My Soup!"
Learning Kabbalah Through Humor
by Simcha (Sam) Krause
CREATION
Harry: What’s green, hangs on the wall, and whistles?
Stanley: I don’t know. What’s green, hangs on the
wall, and whistles?
Harry: A herring.
Stanley: But ... a herring Isn’t green!
Harry: Nu, so you could paint it green.
Stanley: But a herring doesn’t hang on the wall!
Harry: Nu, so you could hang it on the wall.
Stanley: But a herring doesn’t whistle!
Harry: Ok, so it doesn’t whistle.
God, the Creator of the universe, is limitless, formless,
all-knowing and all present. Although God has no
specific gender, we refer to God as He, because that
is how the neutral gender is rendered in Hebrew, the language
of the Torah. To reinforce God’s genderlessness, there is a femi-
nine aspect of God called Shechinah, which comes from the root
word to dwell and denotes God’s transcendent presence as it
dwells in the physical world.
God is, was and always will be. He is known as the Ein Sof
- Never-Ending One - and is also called, The Primary Being.
of the world according to Kabbalah, the body of Jewish mystical
thought. In fact, God is all there is.
According to the famous kabbalist, Rabbi Menachem
Mendel of Lubavitch (the Tzemach Tzedek) (1789-1866), it is
only God’s existence that has no beginning. All other existence,
in contrast, is comprised of new creations that did not exist be-
fore they were brought into being by Him. God is not time-
bound; He alone existed, before time was created.
When He created the world, He also created time. To say
that God has always existed would limit the expression of God,
because always is an aspect of time. God exists independent
of time, above the entire framework of chronology. Time is
relevant only to created beings.
I told you all that hoping you would ask what our herring
joke has to do with God, or even if it is a joke.
Whether you think it’s a joke or not, if you delve into the
words a little deeper, you will discover a parallel with how God
created the world, according to Kabbalah.
God looked to see what He wanted to create, and then He
created the thing He desired from nothing, from no previous
existence.
Just as Harry, the joke-teller above, could set up his punch
line any way he wanted while Stanley tried to poke holes in
the logic of it, so too, God is not limited by a linear or logical
way of thinking.
We may not understand God’s ways, but that doesn’t invali-
date them. All it means is that we are limited in our ability to
grasp. But in His great mercy and love for us, God patiently
allows for and invites our questions.
Benjy was asked by his mother what he had learned in
Hebrew School.
“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses
behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites
out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers
build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across
safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters
for reinforcements. They sent F-16s to blow up the bridge
and save the Israelites.”
“Now, Benjy, is that really what your teacher taught
you,” his mother questioned.
“Well, no, Mom,” said Benjy, “but if I told you what
she really said, you’d never believe it.”
Can God fit an elephant through the eye of a needle? This is
a famous riddle posed by the Talmud. The answer is yes! But
how? Would He make the elephant smaller? Would He make
the eye of the needle bigger?
He would do neither. The elephant would remain un-
changed, as would the eye of the needle. And under that exact
set of circumstances, God would fit the elephant through the
eye of the needle. If you say this makes no sense, you are right,
but having created that set of rules called logic, the Master of
the Universe is certainly entitled to ignore them.
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth.
Immediately God was faced with a class action suit for failure
to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted
a temporary permit for the project, but had trouble complying
with the Cease and Desist order. Appearing at the hearing,
God was asked why He began the project in the first place.
He replied that He just liked to be creative.
Then God said, “Let there be light.” Officials immediately
demanded to know how the light would be made.
Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution?
God explained that the light would come from a huge
ball of fire. He was granted provisional permission to make
light, with the proviso that no smoke would result from the
ball of fire, that He would obtain a building permit, and, to
conserve energy, would have the light burning only half the
time. God agreed and said He would call the light Day
and the darkness Night. Officials replied that they were
not interested in semantics.
God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, seed-yielding
herbs and fruit trees producing fruit according to their
kind.” The EPA agreed as long as native seed was used.
Then God said, “Let the waters swarm a swarming of living
creatures, and let fowl fly over the earth, across the expanse
of the Heaven.” Officials pointed out that this would re-
quire approval from the Department of Game.
Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete
the project in six days. Officials informed Him it would
take at least 200 years to review the application and the
environmental impact statement. After that there would be a
public hearing. Then it would be 10-12 months before...
At this point God created Hell.
Kabbalah speaks of four worlds:
(1) Atzilut, (the World of Emanation), is the highest
world. It contains the revealed potential for further creation.
It possesses no perceived existence independent of God.
(2) Beriah, (the World of Creation), is the second highest.
world. It holds the beginnings of creative potential, born of
Atzilut, which begin to take on the perception of form or
independent existence. The higher order of angels dwells in
Beriah as do created souls and the upper Garden of Eden,
where certain privileged souls journey as a reward for their
meritorious conduct during their lifetime on earth. The Divine
Throne also resides in Beriah. It embodies the concept that the
Divine begins to lower itself in order to touch the lower worlds.
(3) Yetzirah, (the World of Formation), is the third highest
world, where the blueprints are drawn up for final creation
and where specific steps are taken to bring them to fruition.
The lower order of angels - those with a specific mission - reside
in Yetzirah, and the lower Garden of Eden abides here as well.
(4) Asiyah, (the World of Action), is the fourth world, the
world in which you and I live. In Asiyah, we witness the most
convincing representation of independence from God. Sadly,
this is because in Asiyah we are the most removed from Him,
and it is here where the dazzling radiance of God is the most
concealed. This total concealment gives rise to free choice,
such that a person is permitted to choose whether or not he will
serve God according to His will. Asiyah embodies the ultimate
purpose of creation, where God has provided us both the map
and the guidebook so we can actualize that purpose: to make
our world an abode in which He will desire to dwell.
From free choice springs the notion of Evil and the threat
of Hell.
According to Kabbalah, Evil was created from the sitra achra,
the other side of God. In other words, it originates from God,
so it must have hidden elements of Goodness, but not in the
way you may think.
Evil is a way that God tests humanity’s actions. This is compared
to a king who sends a temptress to seduce his son, the
prince. The temptress must follow the king’s orders and do
everything in her power to seduce the prince, all the while hoping
that the prince will not succumb to her allure. So, too, Evil, in
the form of our Evil Inclination, entices us with all sorts of worldly
attractions, hoping that we will reject them.
Simcha (Sam) Krause has taught Kabbalah/Chassidut as an adult education introductory
course and is currently working on two other manuscripts. You can find out more about
“Hey Waiter… There’s G-d in My Soup!” by visiting: WWW.HEY-WAITER.COM
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