The Bliss Mistress Guide: My Pleasure

Whenever someone thanks me, whether it is for something I did or said that put a smile on their face, rather than the traditional response “You’re welcome”, I always volley back with the words “My pleasure.” That is said for two reasons. The first is that it really IS my pleasure to interact in positive ways with the folks in my life. The second is that I firmly believe that pleasure is our birthright and the more pleasure we allow in, the more it attracts other pleasurable experiences.

I have been puzzling lately over the reciprocal nature of interactions. A jaded, cynical thought came to mind. Are relationships really ‘mutual using’? When I think about even the dearest people I know, I am aware that we are in each other’s lives for various reasons. Some are activity buddies, others deep and emotionally intimate confidantes, some have been lovers and others platonic friends. Some are in my inner circle, others a bit more at a distance. All satisfy some need in my life and vice versa.

Back to the pleasure principle. Do we do things for other people purely for the pleasure it brings us to know that we make a difference in their lives? What if, despite our giving, they are still unhappy with us, or their lives? Does that make our offering any less valuable and does it make us any less worthy of their love? A paradox is this: Are we more likely to feel rejected if someone doesn’t accept our ‘gift’ or if they don’t return the energy in kind? Sometimes it feels like a see-saw that is never fully balanced and is one of the relationship dilemmas we all face.

My wise father used to say “One hand washes the other,” as a means of reminding me about that reciprocity I mentioned above. How likely are we to remain in a relationship if we feel as if we are the primary person giving? If one person stops ‘rowing the boat’ and it stands still, how willing are we to allow them to remain in it?

I quote my friend Reid occasionally with regard to relationships. I think it’s a Boy Scout thing. “Always leave the campground better than you found it.” To me that means mutual respect regardless of the form of relationship. If the energy shifts or changes in some way, than at least you will be able to think of that person and realize that it truly was your pleasure to know each other and have walked together for ‘a reason, season or lifetime.’