10 Things You Need to Know About Grief and Recovery

1. Grief is not just about death. Divorce or breakup, loss of a job, change in health, death of a pet, and even verbal or physical assault can trigger a significant grief response.

2. Grief is emotional, not intellectual. Often friends will give us logical reasons why we shouldn’t feel sad. The problem is that grievers have broken hearts, not broken heads. Logic will not help us feel better.

3. Grief will remind you of what you hoped could have been different, better or more in your relationship. Feeling anger and sadness over losing a dream of what could have been is natural and does not mean you are a bad person.

4. Grief will make you question whether you’ve lost your sanity. The overwhelming swirl of emotions caused by grief can make it difficult to focus, make decisions and get back to former routines. You have not lost your sanity and these lapses are temporary.

5. Grief does not heal with time. Time just goes by and allows you to become used to feeling that emotional pain. It is what you do with that time that matters when it comes to moving forward with your life.

6. Recovery is acknowledging that it is perfectly all right to feel sad from time to time and to talk about those feelings no matter how those around you react.

7. Recovery means feeling better. It does not mean forgetting or blocking out the past, people or things that were significant in your life.

8. Recovery is about creating a new normal and finding new meaning for living without the fear of being hurt again.

9. Recovery is being able to enjoy fond memories without having them turn painful.

10. Recovery from loss can be achieved by a series of small and correct action choices made by the griever. Action programs that are proven to be successful for moving beyond loss are available. Whether you prefer to be part of a group, or seek help in a one-on-one setting, don’t go it alone.

Rev. Vicki DellaSperanza is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist© and an ordained Interfaith/Interspiritual Minister with offices in West Springfield. One of the many ways in which she helps grieving adults is The Grief Recovery Method©. To learn more or to arrange a no-obligation phone consultation, call her at 413-224-8368. E,ail her at Vicki@thriveafterloss.com or visit www.thriveafterloss.com