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Soulmate Attraction: Attract with Joy & Passion Now!

by Cassendre Xavier


If you are not completely content with your love situation, and you would like more love, romance, and/or sex in your life, there are some things you can do to transform your situation.
Let's say you would like to start dating again, and you've been off the market for a while. If previously you have met people online or through dating websites, it's fine to consider returning to them, but don't be so quick to do so - yet. Consider first refining the instrument that is you. This doesn't mean changing yourself for the better necessarily - it does mean beginning to celebrate more love, joy, and passion in your life. This doesn't require changing or improving your state of mind or appearance - only your activities. And this you can begin tomorrow. It can begin in minutes, if it involves finding and putting in your schedule an event or three that involves doing something you love or have been thinking about and could enjoy.
The refinement of yourself as an instrument occurs over time as you enage in these loving and passionate activities.

As a polyamorous persun, I can say that is is possible to be in love, be relatively content and still want more romantic partnership in my life, especially if my partner is a "part-time" lover who is married and has other relationships.
I wanted to start dating again, because this new relationship opened my heart and soul and I became highly energetic to wanting to share and experience more love and joy in my life - more than I was able to share with my wonderful partner.

I had met several significant partners (including him) via social media/personals websites.
I have also met several significant partners while performing my various art/works (music, poetry, acting, community cultural arts organizing).
I was feeling very eager to get back in the market again. But I noticed certain words I used to describe my current state: "hungry," "thirsty," etc. I realized this energy felt a little desperate or overly eager. I looked at how I could better channel my energy. Doing a scan with my inner spiritual eye, I saw that my second/orange/sacral chakra (energy center of the body, below the bellybutton, that governs our creative and sexual energy) was blaring and needing to be reigned in and better used.

Visualizing bringing in my energy to myself, and up into my heart, and to my wise and discerning mind, I asked Spirit for a better solution.

I also remembered that my love is in my heart. Yes, I can place ads in social media and on personals websites if I want - but only *after* I had done other more important things.

The most important thing we can do to attract more love and romance in our lives is celebrate, enjoy, and acknowledge the joy and passion we have in our hearts *now*, today!

When you acknowledge, enjoy, and celebrate the love and passion you have in your life today, you are:

1) Affirming love. You are saying to the Universe that you already have everything you want in the Soulmate Attraction department, and the Universe says, "Yes," sending you even more people, things, and circumstances that match this belief - so that soon enough it actually becomes reality!

2) You are removing more and more feelings of lack and dissatisfaction. As you are celebrating the joy and passion in your life, you are feeling better and better and beginning to have the kind of vibration that attracts more soulmate love - more romance and compatibility.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to find ways to celebrate the joy and passion in your life:

A) What are some areas in your life that I already have love, romance, and pleasure? For instance, do you have a nesting partner that in many ways feels like a sweet and comfortable marriage? Do you have wonderful friends, colleagues or even pets that bring a special warmth to your life? Do you have one or more colleagues that make your life easier or more enjoyable? Write down these other love relationships and really appreciate them more. This will activate your love attraction and make you more appealing to a potential partner. It will also make the folks in your life feel better and more appreciated as you smile and make gestures that make them feel more appreciated.

B) What activities bring you joy? It's surprising how often we can get so busy with life that we let certain activities that we once loved very much fall by the wayside. Whether a hobby, craft, or other activity, there are things you either have enjoyed or have thought of trying (taking a class, etc.) that you have either stopped doing over time or are now neglecting). This is the time to take up those joyful activities again, and/or try something new. Doing so will activate your love

C) What are some ways you can improve yourself as a potential relationship partner? It's important to ask and work on yourself as you increasingly have more joy and celebration of love and passion in your life. But, and this is important, don't wait until you are your idea of "finished" or "perfect" to "put yourself out there" to meet and mingle potential new friends and lovers.

The key is to enjoy what you have, be content with your life, while going out to play at the same time, as you are, today, in your wonderful, imperfect humyn self.

Very best wishes on your search for, and celebration of more and more LOVE!

Cassendre Xavier has been writing the "Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us" series at Wisdom Magazine's online edition since 2011. She is the author of the chapbook Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: Dating & Relationships for the Poly, Recovering, Survivor & Tantric, and has presented her workshop of the same title at Sisterspace Weekend in Darlington, Maryland, and continues to do so annually at the Poly Living Conference in Philadelphia. Cassendre was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) at age 23. She has been a member of Philadelphia's LGBT, polyamorous, and New Age/ancient wisdom spiritual communities since 1991, and from 1996-1999 facilitated Sisters Healing Together, a peer support group for women survivors of incest with a special focus on compulsive overeating, which she also founded, at the William Way LGBT Community Center inPhiladelphia. She is an ordained Interfaith Minister who has been practicing her own kind of tantra since the late 1990s, and since her teens has been in recovery. Under her self-assigned spiritual name Amethyste Rah, Cassendre released the popular Affirmations for Survivors guided meditation audio series (“Self-Love” and “Spirituality” in 2007, and “Sexuality” and “Life Skills” are forthcoming). Although she is not a drug or alcohol abuser, she identifies as a person in recovery, and all of the events she produces are chem-free and sober. For more information, please visit http://cassEndrExavier.wordpress.com


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