Love Letter to Myself
by Cassendre Xavier
I read somewhere that it’s a good idea to write love letters to yourself frequently. I started doing this a few years ago and so far have only opened two of them. One was opened last night as I searched through old boxes, bags, and files for the documents I’d need to start my new restaurant server job. A beautiful exotic envelope filled with brochures and tickets of events I’d conceived and produced myself (SISTERSTAGE: Women’s Culture in Performance-2004, and the 3rd Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival-2005), it was a perfectly-timed reminder that my art/work was important, regardless of whatever I had to do to fund it, even if it meant waiting tables from time to time.
I felt I had to share what I wrote, in case it spoke to any creative folks, fellow/sistren artists, and late bloomers out there like myself. We are all ways seeking examples of our possible future selves, encouraging us to move forward in our dreaming, and never forget their validity or our worth.
“22 Feb 07 – The day the Black Women’s Arts Festival organization was accepted into the New Beginnings Nonprofit Incubator Program
Dear Sweetheart-
My, how you’ve accomplished a lot!
How you’ve pursued your dreams with strength, dedication, vision, and courage!
How you’ve persevered.
I am so very, very proud of you, precious one.
You have taken lemons and made champagne! Wine! Absynthe! Ginger beer!
Take good care of yourself, my love. Many are counting on you, yes it’s true, but what matters most is that you count yourself number one.
Follow your heart. Use your instinct. Never give up or shrink your big, big dreams.
They are great like your endowed womanly features- all of them from your sharp brain to your beautiful toes. Never forget your purpose – to enjoy living and make the most of your gifts – to serve your highest *selves and others.
To be here now and fully.
To love and be joyful.
I remain with you.
*ARah”
Lest you think this kind of letter is easy to write, it isn’t. You may feel funny or even embarrassed at first, but I highly recommend keeping it up til it feels easier and more natural. Reading it back may feel weird at first to, it certainly did for me, and even now reading it back, I’m terribly embarrassed, but it’s for a good cause, and it gets easier each time I read it.
Like using affirmations or increasing your capacity for joy, or like any other exercise, it may be a little uncomfy at first, but keep it up and the rewards can be tremendously yummy.
Write, seal, and mail yourself a love letter very soon if not today.
*I don’t know exactly why I wrote that in plural. I don’t have multiple personality disorder, but I have been growing to embrace more and more pseudonyms embracing various aspects of my life and art/work. I’ve received artistic “permission” recently from sister artist Charlyn Brown who uses many pseudonyms.
**Amethyste Rah is my self-assigned spiritual name. ARah are that name’s initials and also my highest spiritual name.
© 2009 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.
Cassendre Xavier is an award-winning multi-media artist and founder/executive director of Philadelphia’s annual Black Women’s Arts Festival. Visit www.cassEndrExavier.com
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