Feng Shui Q & A

NOT RESPECTED AT WORK

Dear Practitioner,

My boss doesn’t respect me or my work. I know for a fact that he makes jokes behind my back. I am blonde so you can imagine the kinds of things he says that are not complimentary. I now feel that the whole department has picked up on his attitude and no one seems to take me seriously anymore. To make things worse, a similar series of events occurred at my last place of employment, and that was not the first time. I am 100% totally fed up. In the past, I would look for a new job but it is hard to do that in today’s economy. Also, I feel I should not have to be the one to do the running. I plan to retaliate. I might spread a few rumors or make some accusations. It sounds wrong but this guy deserves whatever he gets. I have even read up on black magic spells. Are there any Feng Shui techniques that can be used to get even?

Not a Doormat Anymore, Chester, NY

Dear Not,

Your decision to no longer be a “doormat” is commendable. However, your approach is likely to backfire and hurt you more than anyone else.

As for Feng Shui techniques to “get even”, there are ways to deflect or absorb the negative energy that others may intentionally or unintentionally send your way. That, however, is not the main thing you need. You are experiencing a pattern that follows you from place to place. The one thing that does not change in each place is you! You are in some way contributing to an environment in which you are not respected.

The fact that you realize what is happening and that you are no longer willing to put up with it, is a positive step forward. Your idea of revenge as the solution is Neanderthal and will not serve you in any good way. Therefore, put thoughts of “getting even” out of your head.

Fighting back is not the answer here, but what then can you do? First, you need to examine your own behavior. Here are a few questions that may help you. Are you doing anything to encourage the disrespect? Do you ever make belittling comments, either towards yourself or others? Do you in any way put down others in the workplace? Do you put down the company? Or make negative comments about your job or that of others? Are you friendly and respectful to your coworkers? Do you consider your work important and do you take it seriously? Do you always try to do your best on the job? Do you avoid non-work distractions, such as phone calls, excessive breaks, etc.? What kind of reviews do you get? Do you use your reviews as guides as to how to do a better job?

What is your relationship like with your boss? Once you get to the point where you are taking yourself and your work seriously, and you are satisfied that you are doing a good job, ask to meet with your boss privately. Set the tone of the meeting yourself and make sure the tone is serious. Ask him or her how you are doing and ask what you can do to improve your job performance.

Don’t think about leaving at this point. You will only carry the problem with you wherever you go. Resolve things where you are now and then your career future will be bright, in this job or elsewhere. Place a small statue of a leaping carp (you can find these in Chinatown) at the north corner of your desk. The carp swims against the currents and still reaches its goals. This ability to overcome obstacles will help you stay in your present position until the issues there are worked out.

Some crystal energy may also be helpful with your situation. Place a large smoky quartz stone and three apache tear stones on your desk, The smoky quartz may help protect you from your co-worker’s frustrations. The apache tears may absorb some of the negativity that you encounter.

WOMEN ARE AFTER HIS MONEY

Dear Master Aaron,

I am a successful single man, and I have no problem meeting women. The problem is that each time I start to get seriously interested in someone, I find she is a classic gold digger. For example, I do not appreciate being taken to a jewelry store by a person I’ve known 3 weeks so that she can try on things she “wishes” she could have. What can I do differently to attract women who are less focused on material things?

Dave

Clarks Summit, PA

Dear Dave,

You ask what you can do differently, but you do not say what you are doing now. You do say that you are “successful”. Are you ostentatious about that success? Do you make your great career the focus of your conversations? Do you drive a car that shouts “money”? What about your clothes? Your jewelry? Your house? Do you take your dates to expensive places and tip generously? If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, try to tone down your appearance and the degree to which you rely and focus on money.

What kind of women do you look for? Do you concentrate mainly on appearance? I suggest you seek out women who may be more intelligent and more accomplished than those you have been meeting. You may find that they have more to offer you, and are less focused on what they can get from you.

Instead of trying to impress the women you meet, try to listen more to who they are and what they are about. You will, with experience, learn to spot the “gold diggers” in a short conversation, rather than taking weeks of dating to do so.

Place a picture or statue of a rooster, peacock or phoenix in your living room. This will help welcome compatible women into your life.

The real challenge in all this is that you may start meeting women who are not impressed at all by money. You will then need to learn to relate on more significant levels - something that you may not be used to doing!

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Aaron Lee Koch is a Master Feng Shui Practitioner, and Director of The American School of Classical Feng Shui. He is available for home and business consultations throughout our area, and may be reached at 607-722-8988 or 718-288-1058, e-mail: FengShui@AmeriChi.com ,  web site: www.AmeriChi.com. As many questions as space permits will be answered through this column. Questions may be e-mailed or mailed to AmeriChi Feng Shui, PO Box 983, Vestal, NY 13851-0983.