Breaking Free From Limitations
by Fern Kazlow, EdD
The problem with Breaking Through.
Consider the phrase: breaking through limitations. How does that make you feel? When I ask people this question, people respond with sighs, moans, expectations of hard work, feelings of tiredness and a few stories of pain and eventually some movement.
When I asked my 7 year-old daughter, Gabby, what she thought about "breaking through limitations," she said: "Uh–uh — No! I don’t like it."
Then I recalled the song Breaking Through in the super-popular movie High School Musical. So I asked her about just "breaking through" … and left out the word "limitations."
"No! Still no good," she replied, shaking her head emphatically. I asked, "Why not?"
"Because, Mommy, it’s like breaking through a window and getting all cut up," she said.
Hmmm …
Then I remembered that the song in High School Musical wasn’t Breaking Through … it was Breaking Free. Gabby smiled her approval to the idea of Breaking Free.
Here’s what we can learn from the above: Focusing on breaking through limitations points us in the wrong direction. Because although we may not recognize it, the idea of "breaking through" weakens us before we even start.
Think again about "breaking through". Do you feel a struggle, a tiredness, a fear in your veins? Do you feel the tension in your neck or shoulders? Do you feel stuck?When we try to break through limitations, it keeps us in that same weakened dynamic, because we’re struggling with same energy that created the issue. It’s stressful. It’s as if you want to go forward, but your knees are locked in place and you are looking behind you.
On the other hand, thinking about "breaking free" creates a totally different dynamic.
How do you break free?
To break free, you must change the core point of view and energetic patterns in your thoughts and feelings – whether you are struggling with creativity, productivity, income, health or self–esteem.
Although we may not be aware of it, our common thoughts and words often carry unpleasant associations that started in childhood. Old, lingering, limiting feelings are connected with some of our most repeated thoughts. We continue to focus our attention using the same thoughts that have kept us trapped all along.
Instead of thinking about breaking through limitations and how to get unstuck, try changing your way of thinking and feeling by using a new array of thoughts. Consider these thought packages: flowing to the next level, being free, life is working, dreams are easily attainable.
I bet the phrases above make you feel much better than the feeling produced by the words "breaking through." Your innermost feelings are essential. With them, you open the floodgates of energy and inspiration that allow you to get to the new realities that you most desire — in any arena of your life!
Get unstuck from identifying with being stuck.
Most people try to push through their barriers, which creates tension and other problems along the way. We make excuses or blame others for our inability to get to the next level in business, health, fitness, relationships or anything in life. To make matters more difficult, we judge how we got stuck, our inability to advance, and how we compare to others.
Feeling the need to break through has a lot do with our original identification with the idea that we are stuck. That perspective comes from our own judgment, rather than absolute fact.
In our culture, one of the few examples where we let go of this judgment is when we react to a baby learning how to walk. We don’t say "He’s stuck. He can’t do it. It’s impossible!" The baby falls and he gets up. He falls and gets up. He may even lose interest in the process for a while, but we don’t say "He’s stuck. He can’t do it. It’s impossible." We know that this is a process of change and growth that is natural and normal. We should apply the same understanding, patience, love, vision and wisdom to ourselves.
Unfortunately, if you are coming from a place of severe self-judgment and your energetic patterns and spiritual point of view are not in harmony, it is difficult to get beyond the current limitations. To get to the next step, your energy must support where you are right now but also where you want to go and what you want to be.
Practical things to do
So how do you get your energy to support you? Start by diligently being aware of the stories that you tell yourself and others and the thoughts that float in the background in your head. Thoughts like:
I’m not getting anywhere
I’m not getting anywhere fast
I’m stuck
It will take forever to break through this
Notice these thoughts. Then … don’t give them any extra power by entertaining them. Don’t get caught up in your old story lines and feelings. You’ve already experienced them a thousand times before and there is no need to replay them again and again. You’ve learned their lessons … now go on to new energies and thoughts.
The simplest way to re-align the inner energetic patterns of your mind and heart is to think about a vertical line going down the center of your body. Now put your attention on it while taking nice, deep breaths.
Do this particularly when you notice you’re repeating negative thoughts and feelings like the ones I listed above. I’m not saying that you can’t have these thoughts and feelings — no way! You can allow them to exist, but you must no longer care about them. From now on … train yourself not to be attached to them. Don’t identify with them. When they arise, rather than grabbing hold of them, embracing them, or fighting with them … simply use them as signals to do things differently.
When they come up, re-align your energy, move your attention from your old limiting stories to something more empowering. Come up with new plans, ideas and dreams for your future, when your energy and thoughts are in your most powerful, harmonious, optimistic place.
Look at yourself like that child who is learning how to walk. The process of getting past your current limitations is like going from crawling to walking. Everything is completely natural and is part of the learning process. Each and every step is an accomplishment that makes you excited about what you will be able to do next!
Proceed with an attitude of simply doing it — whatever it is — abandoning the idea that you are stuck. Find confidence in the flow of doing – knowing that you are breaking free and building a new life and a better world — not only for you but for humanity as well.
Dr. Fern Kazlow, Ed.D., is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur. A licensed clinical psychotherapist, she founded Integrative Therapy and Integrative ActionTM in 1981. She has served as mentor and consultant to health professionals, entrepreneurs, Wall Street executives, and business professionals. Dr. Kazlow founded the Rapid Wealth SystemTM to increase your income and expand the riches throughout your life. The Predictable Jackpot: Secrets of the Rapid Wealth System is the first part of her home study program and is available now. For more info visit www. drfern kazlow.com or email info@drfernkazlow .com.
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