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Mercury Retrogrades Over the Holdays! Here We Go!

by Elizabeth Joyce

Mercury will turn retrograde the morning of December 10th, when there will be fourteen shopping day ‘till Christmas. The planet will be in the shadow of retrograde several days before that. Let’s make a note of how this affects the public, as this backwards motion brings some or all of the following: difficulties involving transportation, slowing down of the mail system, difficulty finding what you want, having to return incorrect shipped items, tendencies to rethink what one has thought, difficulty with all sorts of mechanical items, especially telephones and computers, incorrect messages or not receiving them, difficulties in getting somewhere “on time” as well as difficulties in all kinds of practical matters.

Let’s put this all together with the demands of the Christmas and Holiday season. Unless I miss my guess, during the Yuletide season you will be doing some or all of the following: transporting yourself, sending things by mail, trying to decide what you want to buy and for who you want to buy, coming to all sorts of conclusions of what so-and-so wants or needs as a gift, partying, going all sorts of places, dealing with all sorts of practical matters as you prepare for various house gatherings for various types of celebrations. (Hanukkah ends on December 9th. And will miss most of the influence.)

So prepare for some difficulties. Here are some recommendations to help you prepare.

1. Remember Murphy’s Law? If something can go wrong it will, at the worst possible moment. This was coined during one of Mercury Retrograde phases, I’m sure. It certainly has been meant not only as a warning but to remind us to keep a good sense of humor. Where would all of our comics be if nothing went wrong. Remember “I Love Lucy,” and Ralph Cramden and Ed Norton?

2. Get your cars and truck checked out in November, not December. Purchase all tickets, travel and theater, before December 10th.

3. Leave an extra fifteen minutes early so as to have extra time, also plan extra time between appointments.

4. Do all of your Christmas shopping before you get that car checked. (Smile!) In November, if possible.

5. Send out all packages and Christmas cards by December 5th.

6. Don’t get too tied up in thinking or re-thinking the guest list, or the gift list. If you forget someone, don’t worry, they’ll get over it, at lest they should. Patiently explain to family and friends about Mercury retrograde.

7. Remember that intention counts. Even if you can’t find what you want, you will find what you need.

8. If you are late with the gifts, explain “Okay, I’m late with my gifts. What do you expect with Mercury retrograde?” In ancient Mesopotamia, giving gifts after the holidays, within the twelve days of Christmas, was considered a sign of wisdom and love.

9. If you plan to travel long distances, (to meet relatives, for example), remember this: Mercury retrograde generally indicates that everyone’s a bit harried, hurried, and hassled. It indicates that people doing mechanical work, including work on airplanes, will be harried, hurried, and hassled. This doesn’t mean that people won’t go to work, or that you should not travel, but it is certainly not the best time to do so. Follow your intuition as whether to fly or not. Expect delays and always bring a book to read and some toys for the children.

Once you’ve done all that, lean back in your easy chair, light up a Cuban cigar, sip your cognac and put your feet up. That will bring things in perspective for you. Perspective is just what you need when Mercury is retrograde.

Here is a list of what is called Mercury’s False Promises:

We must have lunch real soon

Your luggage is checked through

We promise no delays

We’ve got inflation licked

I’ll get right back to you

It’s just a standard form

Tomorrow without fail

Pleased to meet you

We are never late

Thank you so much

The check is in the mail

You may have won a prize

Your secret’s safe with me

It’s wrinkle free, won’t crumble or peal

This is a real good deal

Strictly by the book

What’s fair is fair

I am not a crook

We’ll send someone right out

Now this won’t hurt a bit

It’s finger licking good

I’ll be right there

He’s in a meeting now

The coat’s a perfect fit

Strictly fresh today

Service with a smile

I’ll love you darling, till I die

We’ll keep you name on file

So walk right during theses next three weeks (Dec. 10th – Dec. 30th ) and be thankful it’s all over by New Year’s Eve. You resolutions for 2011 are good!

Wishing you a most Happy Holiday Season.

Elizabeth Joyce

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