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Excerpt from “Hey Waiter…There’s God in My Soup!”

Chapter One: What is this Entity we call God?

by By Sam (Simcha) Krause with Terry Krause


Although Kabbalah has made a dramatic entrance into pop culture over the past decade, authentic Kabbalah is an ancient discipline dating back over 3,300 years. This deeply esoteric, mystical branch of Judaism has been handed down by word of mouth throughout the generations and came to written form in the second century by Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. Learning Kabbalah will give profound inner meaning to written Scripture and will assist in the exploration of the transcendent nature of a formless, infinite God as He relates to His finite creations.

“Hey Waiter…There’s God in My Soup!” is a new book which approaches the formidable topic of Kabbalah by way of the common joke. You might ask, “What’s a nice, serious subject like Kabbalah doing in a book like this?” The answer lies in Kabbalah itself. Laughter is an involuntary reflex that transcends reason and lifts us above our physical state, allowing for an unselfconscious connection with something beyond the self – God, for example. A joyful person is open, available and willing to entertain concepts that don’t necessarily fit a logical paradigm. So jokes can become vehicles through which we can contemplate the divine.

If this sounds intriguing, read on—and please visit us at www.hey-waiter.com to purchase the book, request a speaking engagement and more.

CHAPTER ONE: What is this Entity we call “God?”

Harry: What's green, hangs on the wall, and whistles?

Stanley: I don't know. What’s green, hangs on the wall, and whistles?

Harry: A herring.

Stanley: But ... a herring isn't green!

Harry: Nu, so you could paint it green.

Stanley: But a herring doesn't hang on the wall!

Harry: Nu, so you could hang it on the wall.

Stanley: But a herring doesn't whistle!

Harry: Ok, so it doesn't whistle.

God, the Creator of the universe, is limitless, formless, all-knowing and all-present. Although God has no specific gender, we refer to God as “He,” because that is how the neutral gender is rendered in Hebrew, the language of the Torah. To reinforce God’s genderlessness, there is a feminine aspect of God called Shechinah, which comes from the root word “to dwell” and denotes God’s transcendent presence as it dwells in the physical world.

God is, was and always will be. He is known as the Ein Sof - “Never-Ending One” - and is also called, “The Primary Being” of the world according to Kabbalah, the body of Jewish mystical thought. In fact, “God is all there is.”

According to the famous kabbalist, Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Lubavitch (the “Tzemach Tzedek”) (1789-1866), it is only God’s existence that has no beginning. All other existence, in contrast, is comprised of new creations that did not exist before they were brought into being by Him. God is not time-bound; He alone existed, before time was created.

When He created the world, He also created time. To say that God has “always” existed would limit the expression of God, because “always” is an aspect of time. God exists independent of time, above the entire framework of chronology. “Time” is relevant only to created beings.

I told you all that hoping you would ask what our herring joke has to do with God, or even if it is a joke.

Whether you think it’s a joke or not, if you delve into the words a little deeper, you will discover a parallel with how God created the world, according to Kabbalah.

God looked to see what He wanted to create, and then He created the thing He desired from nothing, from no previous existence.

Just as Harry, the joke-teller above, could set up his punch line any way he wanted – while Stanley tried to poke holes in the logic of it – so too, God is not limited by a linear or logical way of thinking.

We may not understand God’s ways, but that doesn’t invalidate them. All it means is that we are limited in our ability to grasp. But in His great mercy and love for us, God patiently allows for and invites our questions.


Benjy was asked by his mother what he had learned in Hebrew School.

“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent F-16s to blow up the bridge and save the Israelites.”

“Now, Benjy, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his mother questioned.

“Well, no, Mom,” said Benjy, “but if I told you what she really said, you'd never believe it.”

Can God fit an elephant through the eye of a needle? This is a famous riddle posed by the Talmud. The answer is yes! But how? Would He make the elephant smaller? Would He make the eye of the needle bigger?

He would do neither. The elephant would remain unchanged, as would the eye of the needle. And under that exact set of circumstances, God would fit the elephant through the eye of the needle. If you say this makes no sense, you are right, but having created that set of rules called “logic,” the Master of the Universe is certainly entitled to ignore them.


In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Immediately God was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but had trouble complying with the Cease and Desist order. Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why He began the project in the first place. He replied that He “just liked to be creative.”

Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. He was granted provisional permission to make light, with the proviso that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that He would obtain a building permit, and, to conserve energy, would have the light burning only half the time. God agreed and said He would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night." Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.

God said, "Let the earth sprout vegetation, seed-yielding herbs and fruit trees producing fruit according to their kind….” The EPA agreed as long as native seed was used. Then God said, “Let the waters swarm a swarming of living creatures, and let fowl fly over the earth, across the expanse of the Heavens.” Officials pointed out that this would require approval from the Department of Game.

Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in six days. Officials informed Him it would take at least 200 years to review the application and the environmental impact statement. After that there would be a public hearing. Then it would be 10-12 months before...

At this point God created Hell.

Kabbalah speaks of four worlds:

(1) Atzilut, (the World of Emanation), is the “highest” world. It contains the revealed potential for further creation. It possesses no perceived existence independent of God.

(2) Beriah, (the World of Creation), is the second “highest” world. It holds the beginnings of creative potential, born of Atzilut, which begin to take on the perception of “form” or independent existence. The higher order of angels dwells in Beriah as do created souls and the “upper” Garden of Eden, where certain privileged souls journey as a reward for their meritorious conduct during their lifetime on earth. The Divine Throne also resides in Beriah. It embodies the concept that the Divine begins to “lower” itself in order to “touch” the lower worlds.

(3) Yetzirah, (the World of Formation), is the next highest world, where the “blueprints” are drawn up for final creation and where specific steps are taken to bring them to fruition. The lower order of angels - those with a specific mission - reside in Yetzirah, and the “lower” Garden of Eden abides here as well.

(4) Asiyah, (the World of Action), is the fourth world, the world in which you and I live. In Asiyah, we witness the most convincing representation of independence from God. Sadly, this is because in Asiyah we are the most removed from Him, and it is here where the dazzling radiance of God is the most concealed. This total concealment gives rise to “free choice,” such that a person is permitted to choose whether or not he will serve God according to His will. Asiyah embodies the ultimate purpose of creation, where God has provided us both the map and the guidebook so we can actualize that purpose: to make our world an abode in which He will desire to dwell.

From “free choice” springs the notion of Evil and the threat of Hell.

According to Kabbalah, Evil was created from the sitra achra, the “other side,” of God. In other words, it originates from God, so it must have hidden elements of Goodness, but not in the way you may think.

Evil is a way that God tests humanity’s actions. This is compared to a king who sends a temptress to seduce his son, the prince. The temptress must follow the king’s orders and do everything in her power to seduce the prince, all the while hoping that the prince will not succumb to her allure. So, too, Evil, in the form of our Evil Inclination, entices us with all sorts of worldly attractions, hoping that we will reject them.

Kabbalah teaches that God’s sole purpose in creating Evil was to transform it, one day, into Goodness.


God said to the Devil, “I'm considering having some repair work done on the pearly gates, and I think you should pay half.”

“Oh, really?” replied Satan. “And how do you figure I owe half?”

“Well, I do My best to keep folks from ending up in your place," God answered, “and let’s face it, there is a certain amount of wear and tear from the clawing and scratching of your people.”

“That's outrageous,” the Devil objected. “I won't pay.”

“Then I'll sue,” God threatened.

“You’ll sue?” repeated the Devil, smiling. “Just where do You think YOU’LL ever find a lawyer?”

We’ve all read parodies of God arguing with Satan, but Kabbalah teaches that Satan has no independent will, as it is entirely a creation of God’s, meant to challenge us and give us the opportunity to exercise our free will and assert our inherent goodness.

Remember, God is all there is, and there is nothing besides Him.

b b b

Sam (Simcha) Krause, eldest child of Holocaust survivors, developed a determination and comic edge early in life. Rebel and class clown against the unlikeliest of backdrops—the Yeshiva—Sam opted out for a secular education at age 11. This momentous decision landed him at the formidable DeWitt Clinton High School in the Bronx, which his parents chose, he asserts, "Simply because it wasn’t co-ed." A child of the Sixties, Sam performed at numerous comedy club open-mic nights on both coasts. Like most of his contemporaries, Sam became a seeker and student of human potential, and in the late 1980’s he found the perfect synthesis of his East-West philosophies in the form of Kabbalah, Jewish mysticism. It was the 21-year pursuit of this profound philosophy which provided the inspiration for this book. Sam lives in Passaic, NJ with his wife and the younger four of his six children.

Purchase Info:

“Hey Waiter…There’s God in My Soup!”

List Price: $16.00

6" x 9" (15.24 x 22.86 cm)

Black & White on White paper

98 pages

ISBN-13: 978-1453729809

ISBN-10: 1453729801

LCCN: 2010911233

BISAC: Religion / Judaism / Kabbalah & Mysticism

Available through www.Amazon.com and www.hey-waiter.com eStore.

Published with permission from the authors.

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