The Bliss Mistress Guide: The Whole Package

As I am approaching my 53^rd Birthday on October 13^th , I am coming to recognize the meandering path that it took to have me arrive at this here and now point in my life. Most people mark milestones with either way-blocking boulders that need to be climbed over or gone around, or proud- of -themselves -pebbles that can be scooped up and carried, scattering them for others to follow if they so choose. I have done both from time to time, depending on my mindset. Lately, blessedly, I have done the second more than the first. For way too long, I unconsciously placed those behemoths in my path, and then felt frustrated that things weren't working the way I would have had them be. Some of them were labeled 'gotta take care of other people', 'gotta be a good girl', 'can't disappoint or let anyone down', 'gotta earn ongoing love', 'gotta do it right', 'gotta keep going, keep moving, keep doing'. Ironically, I grew up in a loving, supportive home with parents who adored each other and us and encouraged us to live our lives to the fullest. So, all of this was a great big head scratching “Huh?” when I initially noticed these patterns that didn't serve me.

I look at pivotal events as rites of passages and Birthdays fall into that category. In the past year, I have had the 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows (or what I call 'joys and oys') that Buddhism talks about as the flow of life. I lost my beloved mother Selma on 11/26/10 and I had the beautiful end of life experience with her while she was on hospice. I had major roof damage soon after that and hired an unscrupulous contractor who I needed to fire and then hire others to complete the job which ended up costing more overall than I anticipated. Now my roof is intact and has made it through several storms. Waiting out Hurricane Irene at the moment and expressing gratitude in advance that it hold out this time too. I have finished writing my book, The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into the Extraordinary and am eager for its birth in September; along with it, a book tour! I have one friend newly diagnosed with breast cancer and she is healing from surgery and another who just died of several forms of the disease. I have a full time job, working in the mental health field, that is rewarding in many ways, and draining in others, since demands are high and sometimes unrealistic to meet. I am loving my single life and desiring a partner all at once. I have lost 42 pounds and am really enjoying my nearly daily 'playouts' at the gym, while at times, fearing re-gaining some of it in moments of unconscious eating. I am allowing for stillness and silence when a year or so ago, I was on 'go mode' most of the time, avoiding solitude, lest the world stop spinning if I wasn't pedaling.

A few weeks ago, I made a new friend at the gym; a woman named Sheree who started a conversation about how she had just joined and was easing her way into her own time on the machines. Fifty-something, with twinkling eyes, she joked that neither of looked our age; but celebrating it...believe it or not, I was excited to receive my AARP invitation a few years ago:) She is the only woman in a business in a male oriented profession and is simultaneously treated like 'one of the boys' and respected as a woman. Our conversation meandered off into raising children as single moms and starting over after marriages ended (hers by divorce, mine by widowhood), loss and death. I had told her about my experiences with my Mom's passing and the butterfly stories. After I mentioned that symbol and reminder that whenever one showed up, I felt it was a message from her, this new friend turned around and I was amazed, but not surprised that on her left shoulder was a winged wonder. Hers was a potent symbol of healing and renewal following her divorce.

We agreed that being in the fifth decade of our lives felt incredibly freeing, since we were now our own women; the whole package, (more than a pretty face:) , comfortable in our own skin, making decisions for ourselves with a degree of certainty that we had not in previous years. Confident most of the time, doing what my mother used to call 'walking in like you own the joint', to which I add the thought that when you own the joint, you are simultaneously responsible for the upkeep of the joint. Consciousness and moment to moment awareness; although not hypervigilance, is a hallmark of that mindset. I know that like attracts like and as I maintain that sense of experiencing the here and now, I attract other people playing that same delightful game.

When you examine your life, do you feel like the 'whole package', that you are ready to open, as a gift to yourself and then offer it to the world? It allows for ongoing growing, stretching and developing the magnificence that you are. If not, what would you like to welcome in order to feel whole in an of yourself, without expectation that someone else needs to complete you?

Edie Weinstein is a Renaissance woman and Bliss Mistress who invites you to live a rich, full and juicy life. She writes a daily blog for Beliefnet called The Bliss Blog http://features.beliefnet.com/blissblog