Excerpt from "Constant Craving: What Your Food Cravings Mean and How to Overcome Them"

The following excerpt is taken from the book CONSTANT CRAVING: What Your Food Cravings Mean and How to Overcome Them by Doreen Virtue. It is published by Hay House (October 2011) and is available at all bookstores or online at: www.hayhouse.com .

Going home for the holidays doesn’t have to be fattening, but for thousands of people, “overeating” and “Thanksgiving” are synonymous. It happens every year when Judy, a 38-year-old bank manager from Seattle, arrives at her parents’ Cincinnati home for her annual one-week holiday visit. “I instantly feel like a gangly, know-nothing little girl,” says Judy. “Mom’s always telling me to eat, eat! Dad pressures me to settle down and get married.” By the time Judy returns to Seattle, her self-confidence is usually shaken, and her weight is up by ten pounds.

Millions of people “go home again” each holiday season, but most family reunions bear little resemblance to the warm family embraces portrayed in the closing scene of the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life. The strong emotions brought on by spending holidays with relatives encourages some people to overeat. Many people associate food with holidays. Childhood memories of feeling loved, safe, and happy intertwine with thoughts of Christmas cookies, Passover treats, or Thanksgiving feasts. As adults we turn to those foods for comfort, especially when holiday get-togethers get on our nerves. As children, we weren’t as aware of our relatives during the holidays, because we focused on playing and gifts. But as adults, we become painfully conscious of Uncle Ralph getting tipsy, Aunt Sally’s nosy questions, or Cousin Barbara’s grating, high-pitched voice. It’s uncomfortable to acknowledge that our holiday is less than perfect, so we overeat to comfort ourselves.

Holidays are often filled with unrealistic expectations that lead to disappointment. We may expect holidays to be similar to the ones we experienced as children and dream of being showered with gifts, attention, and love. It’s a real letdown when the holiday is mundane or filled with family problems.

Unfortunately, our body never takes a holiday from turning the fat that we eat into body fat. Every year, the average American gains seven pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. This yo-yo weight gain is both unhealthful and frustrating for anyone who has worked hard to stay fit throughout the year. This year, why not take steps to avoid “The Holiday Seven” in the first place? Here are some strategies to help you avoid overeating, without sacrificing delicious family traditions!

* A major reason people overeat at family gatherings is because old childhood feelings are stirred up, making us feel like awkward, helpless little kids. To combat this tendency, I recommend bringing an “adulthood anchor” to your family’s home (unless, of course, the family is coming to your home). An adulthood anchor is anything you can look at privately to remind yourself of the competent, grown-up individual you really are. Examples of anchors to bring along include a favorite book, some office work, your business card, your most recent paycheck, or even a college textbook.

* It’s not a good idea to either publicly confront your irritating relatives, or to stuff your unpleasant feelings by eating food (what I call “fattening feelings”). Instead, get up and excuse yourself from any troubling situations. Go to a private place, such as the rest room or a bedroom. Take a few moments to breathe deeply, and remind yourself that you’ll soon be home in your own environment. There are three ways to combat these irritating fattening feelings when they crop up. First, admit your feelings to yourself instead of fighting or ignoring them. Second, help the troubling emotions subside by either talking about them with a person who’s nonjudgmental and a good listener, by writing your feelings in a personal journal, or by going for a walk and talking to yourself about your feelings. Third, don’t overeat to compensate for your fattening feelings—that will only make you feel worse!

* If you feel strongly opposed to a relative’s behavior, talk to him or her out of earshot of the rest of the family to avoid additional strife. If you’ve been drinking, wait until you are both sober before having any kind of serious discussion. You cannot reason with an intoxicated person.

* If you are cooking the holiday meal yourself, you’re probably aware of the perils of kitchen nibbling. Pre-dinner and post-dinner nibbling can easily double or even triple your consumption of calories and fat grams. We all know that there is a big difference between merely tasting a recipe to test its flavor, and eating it because the cook is hungry. For that reason, here are four tips for smart cooks to avoid pre-meal overeating:

1. Chew on gum, or suck on a hard candy, while you are cooking.

If your mouth is full, you are less apt to engage in absentminded nibbling.

2. Keep a large glass of a calorie-free beverage such as water, iced tea, or diet soda next to you while you’re cooking.

3. Play relaxing background music in the kitchen. Sometimes, jangled nerves and stress lead to overeating. You can avoid nervous nibbling by listening to soothing classical music.

4. Be sure to eat before cooking your holiday meal. Many people skip meals before holiday feasts “to save their appetites.” But the result of meal-skipping is a hungry cook who overeats in the kitchen!

Even though you may be away from home, stick to your normal exercise routines. The exercise will help raise your energy level while also making you feel more at peace with yourself, thus preventing you from overeating.

The best response to family members who insist that you should “eat more!” is to tell them: “I’m so full that if I eat one more bite, I will explode!” This is a statement no one can argue with. After all, how can you eat more if you are full? Just don’t make the mistake of telling family members who are prone to pushiness that you “are on a diet”—unless you want an earful of unsolicited dieting advice!

Some other strategies to avoid overeating:

* In some households, you’d be insulting Grandma if you turned down her cooking, even if you’ve sworn off the high-fat food she’s offering you. To avoid unnecessary arguments or hurt feelings, just take a small helping. A few bites of something won’t sabotage your health, but it may maintain peace at home. If the food being served is definitely off your eating list—for example, ham or other red meats—you can always resort to the diplomatic practices of mashing the food with your fork, “hiding” it under a biscuit, feeding it to the dog, or walking into the kitchen with your plate and inconspicuously disposing of it.

* There is nothing wrong with wanting to relax and enjoy yourself during the holidays. In fact, depriving yourself of traditions and treats can lead to an overeating binge. Limit your treats to those foods only available during the holidays. After all, you can always eat peanuts or chocolates, but pumpkin pie is a special treat for the fall and winter months. A bit of intelligent pre-planning can give you the satisfaction of enjoying traditional holiday treats without gaining weight. Smart substitutions will keep your calories and fat grams down, without leaving you feeling deprived.