Got Stress?
by Ariele & Shya Kane
Well, do you? It doesn’t actually matter whether you answered "yes" or "no" to that question. What matters is that you take a look at your attitudes about the subject of stress itself. If you answered, "Yes!" see if there is a hint (or a big dose) of being the victim of your stress and the things that you find stressful hidden in your attitude. If you said, "No, I’m not stressed." look to see if you have the idea that being stress-free is better than being stressed and if you had answered "yes," you would have somehow failed some internalized standard.
Stress gets a "bad" rap.
Don’t you automatically think of stress as "bad"? But wait a moment: Don’t you also hold exercise as good? OK, you may fight with yourself about whether or not you are doing enough aerobics but let’s not go there just now – let’s look at exercise as a stress vehicle, a representative of "good" stress.
When you exercise, you are stressing your cardio vascular system – making it stronger. You stress your muscles – making them stronger. You stress your bones – ahh yes, making them stronger. Yup, you stress your bones to stave off osteoporosis.
Of course, if we take the exercise analogy to the extreme, stressing your bones too far causes them to fracture. So, let’s just say that from an anthropological or transformational standpoint stress isn’t either good or bad – it just is.
The Great Untruth: NO!
Much of the emotional or mental stress we experience in day-to-day living starts with an unexamined misassumption, untruth, lie, fib, falsehood, story or series of stories such as:
· This moment isn’t perfect
· This isn’t what I want
· I don’t wanna
· Don’t tell me what to do
· I am behind
· I don’t know what I want but this isn’t it!
Stress is also generated from other sources:
· Being incomplete with your parents
· Being right
· Focusing on getting somewhere rather than being here
· Incompletions in general
(In case you missed it, all of the above are based in saying "No!" in one form or another to what is.)
The 3 Principles of Instantaneous Transformation and Stress
We often talk of the 3 principles, so we know that you are familiar with them. But have you thought of them in relationship to stress?
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st – What you resist persists and grows stronger. Resisting a situation is just like exercising that muscle to make it stronger. What ever you are adding resistance to, you are actually making it take a more defined shape.
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nd – No two things can occupy the same you at the same time. What are you focused on? Here is an example: We were on a walk recently and as we came down a hill there was a thorny rose bush that extended over the sidewalk. We paid attention to it as we walked past it so as not to get snagged. Then we noticed some peonies in the yard that were just getting ready to burst from bud stage into full pink splendor and the floral scents from the garden gently wafted on the breeze. We continued our walk and on our return trip up the hill we noticed that right in front of the garden with the rose bushes and peonies was a large truck and attached to the truck was a horse trailer that we hadn’t noticed on the way down the hill. By the amount of pollen on the windshield of the truck we could tell that it had been parked there for some time. When we were so consumed with the garden we didn’t see the truck and trailer even though it was so close we could have reached out and touched it as we passed. Sometimes you are so consumed with your stressors, you miss the rest of the world even though it is right within reach.
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rd – Anything you allow to be allows you to be. Ok, so back to the beginning. Anything you resist persists, and grows stronger (1st principle). However, if you stop focusing your attention on those things you don’t like, don’t want, or would rather be different and bring your attention back to what is right in front of you, then in that instant you are free. Stress free. Yup, it is that simple. Oh, but if you want to be "right" that someone else is "wrong" then guess what…stress, stress and more stress. But YOU are doing it to yourself, not the apparent stressor, you. Being stress-free is as simple as being where you are without disagreeing with your life and life circumstances (i.e. your preferences).
One Last Thing
There is nothing else. We know you would like there to be "one last thing": Something to save you from stress. Something to do to relieve yourself so you don’t have to be the responsible party. OK, just for fun…One last thing: If you are feeling stressed, try getting a good night’s sleep. Sleep can be a powerful tool to support you in well being.
Since 1987, internationally acclaim-ed authors, seminar leaders, and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. To find out more about the Kanes, their NYC seminars and their Transformational Community or to sign up to join their email newsletter, The Excellence Club: Having It All, visit their website at: www.TransformationMadeEasy.com .
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