The Bliss Mistress Guide: When I Grow Up

I saw this message this morning on Facebook, from whence much inspiration comes for me these days. It was written by my friend Courtney Ragonesi

“I am in awe of folks who have found their calling early in age.”

I told her that although I do fit into that category, at 53, I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. I was a talkative child which is no surprise to those who know me. My mother liked to say that I began talking at 6 months “and you haven’t stopped since.” I’m sure that she’s laughing from The Other Side as she hears how much more expansive my vocalizations have grown and how many more people are hearing a voice that sounds increasingly like hers. I sometimes feel like I am channeling her, sharing her wisdom. Somehow, I always knew that communication was my calling. Not sure back then how it would pan out. Make believe games under the awning of the home of our neighbors; Joe and Joanne Novasatka and their daughters Barbara, Ann and Jane, usually ended up with me playing the role of teacher. Imagine that? I didn’t see myself taking the traditional route of becoming an educator and yet, here I am all of those decades later, offering ideas and inspiration as a teacher of life lessons that have come to me and through me.

My resume is 2 pages long and growing, as I add on the various and sundry roles I have taken. I call myself a professional hyphenate: writer-interviewer-speaker-social worker-therapist-coach-minister-PR Goddess-volunteer. Periodically, I find myself (or lose myself) in feeling as if I am not doing enough fast enough for my nagging, nudging inner critic. Then I did something that I recommend for overachieving Type A’s…I Googled myself! When I did that, I got a goofy grin on my face as I shook my head….”Wowie, that woman is busy!” When I can view myself from an outsider’s perspective, I can allow myself to relax.

A portion of my ‘calling’ literally involved messages in the form of dreams, meditations and the Voice beckoning me to do the work of the Divine. When my husband Michael died in 1998, I actually heard a gender neutral voice telling me to “Call the seminary and ask to finish what Michael started.” Knowing exactly what that meant, since he had completed the first of a two year program at The New Seminary in NYC, I did just that, meeting the requirements for ordination in less than 6 months. A few years after that, I had a dream in which the words ‘by divine design’ came through. I asked what that meant and God replied “You’ll know.”, and it has since become the name of my biz.

I took a leap about a month ago and left a full time salary and benefits gig as a social worker in a psychiatric hospital where I had worked for 11 years. I had been seed planting for a while and doing all of the other things that so delight me and tickle my heart and when the time was right, off I went into free flight. Some days I feel as if I am playing hooky when my schedule includes daytime networking meetings, gym play outs, writing articles and sending out promo info when the sun is midway in the sky, rather than at the crack of dawn or when my eyes want to close for the night. Scary at times, uncertain outcome, but I also know that when we are guided by the Divine, our Highest Good always prevails. Trust is a watchword for me, a knowing that all is well and that I will be at the right place and right time with the ideal people for collaboration.

I wonder what keeps some from an acknowledgment of their calling, not just at an early age, as Courtney pondered, but ever. I imagine that fear is a key component. What if, I fail? is a common question. What if you succeed brilliantly? What if there really was no such thing as failure and every experience could be viewed as success? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. There is a world of infinite possibility awaiting you.