Why Do We Continue to Struggle….Does Life Really Have to Be This Hard?

Women: our struggles of this day and time are no less intense than they were in the Stone Age because basically we have exchanged more sophisticated responsibilities replacing the more common hardships. Why?

Heightened drama seems to follow a certain type of energy. One type exposes itself as a victim and the other an insecure ego. The victim is constantly looking to be nurtured and handled with kid gloves. They can’t prop up themselves enough when they’re so busy playing the martyr. The inflated ego is so insecure it feels the need to strong arm others through resistance and then want to retaliate once their ego has been bruised. Both types thrive on lack, which is due to the perspective each embraces. Lack is then followed by judgment followed by attachment to outcome.

Why do we continue to feel the need to push for what we desire instead of pulling it toward us? Is it because we recognize the lack of our desire and feel entitled to have it fulfilled in the fashion we perceive to be the best. We are so busy pushing for the desire to be fulfilled we lose the perspective of what is really important. Once we finish gaining our perceived desire we finally realize it wasn’t what we truly desired in the long-run anyway.

“Are we twelve?” On a day to day basis watching individuals interact when they are stressed or bothered or unhappy or dissatisfied is a lesson in Psychology 101. People do not like to be inconvenienced, forced to do something the ego feels is below it, talked to in a fashion matching their behavior, held accountable; basically people have the attitude, “I can do what I want.” Technically that’s true we can do what we want. However, if we want to be part of the universe, then we need to understand the ripples created when we make that choice. We are all free to choose but we are not free from the consequences of our choice—that is called Karma.

So what drives our push sense of separation versus our pull sense of union? Fear. Where there is fear there is not love. Love and fear cannot reside in the same heart. So if a heart is full of fear then love is pushed out. So what do we fear? Change, control, lack, death, loss—perceptions. So the fear we have today is no different than the fear from years past, it is all based on perceptions and learned behavior.

You may be asking, “what does this have to do with women, isn’t this an issue both sexes need to address?” The short answer is yes, but the long answer is the energy found in the home or the office tends to fall more on the shoulders of women than men. Women have learned to require the perfect package visible to the outside world forgoing their inside self to fulfill the image. All the while the broken pieces of the family which should truly matter are pushed to the side making room for the outside structure seen by the passers by. What is the motivator behind such learned behavior? Who decided it was a good idea to remain unhealthy on the inside as long as it looks healthy on the outside? Our EGO. Our Ego demands so much out of us as individuals to fit in, be part of the "accepted" crowd, present outside success at all costs, endure internal pain so not to show weakness on the outside. What have we failed to learn? The seeds that are watered frequently are the ones that will grow strong. Every thought we produce, anything we say, any action we do bares our signature. Did this attitude begin with men or women? That question takes us back to the chicken or the egg. At some point however someone has to decide they will not allow sons and daughters to be raised holding these thoughts and actions toward others. We all play a role in the growth or lack of in this society. Yes, it is a daunting job, but if we each take care of our own backyard, then once the yards connect change has occurred.

Women are the worst at actually addressing the discomforts and aliments they feel. We are so focused on the family unit and how healthy it appears on the outside we disregard ourselves and how we feel on the inside. Let’s go through some unhealthy situations: start with releasing addictions which translates to why we are running from self, fear, no understanding of how to love self; then anorexia which equates to denying the self, extreme fear, self-hatred and rejection. Excessive appetite leans towards fear, the need to project, and judgment of emotions. Arteriosclerosis equals resistance, tension, hardened narrow-mindedness and refusing to see the good. Back problems show fear of money, lack of financial support, guilt, stuck in all that stuff, lack of emotional support and holding back of love. Blood pressure deals with a long-standing emotional problem unresolved, lack of love as a child and defeatism. Our bowels represent the release of waste, fear of letting go of the old and no longer needed baggage. Breast problems represent a refusal to nourish the self, putting everyone else first, over mothering, overprotecting and overbearing attitudes. Colitis is all about insecurity, the lack of ease to let go of that which hovers over you. Fat shows oversensitivity represents fear and shows a need for protection or the fear may be a cover for hidden anger and resistance to forgive. Headaches show invalidation of self filling you with fear and self-criticism. Heartburn is you clutching fear, fear and fear. Nervous breakdown is all about self-centeredness, jamming the channels of communication. Respiratory ailments represent the fear of taking in life fully.

Let’s allow change and create a healthier world.

Namaste!

Catherine Craven is a former seeker of inner peace who has transformed from pupil to teacher due to her real-life experience and successes. She currently resides in Charleston, South Carolina and is writing her manuscript 222 Questions We Should All Ask Ourselves At Least Once.