Reclaim Your Personal Authority

Giving away our power and authority is something we learn early in life. We do this innocently, often, and in so many ways, with so many people, most times without even realizing we’re doing it. Were you ever talked out of taking steps to prevent a potential problem at work, only to have it surface later? Or, followed someone else’s advice on how to approach a client with less than successful results? These are smaller examples, but these little instances get bigger and bigger until we don’t remember who we are, what we know, or how we feel.

Crossroads in our life – divorce, changing jobs, the death of a parent, graduation, loss of a job, changing careers, going through midlife, bankruptcy – all these provide excellent opportunities for us to get in touch with our inner knowledge and nurture our growth. Even if you’re RELATIVELY happy with your life, you may want to go to the next level. It may be a matter of just some tweaking or making major changes.

Reclaiming your personal authority is the first step in aligning all areas of your life, including your financial life. Often, we overlook how giving away our power affects our finances. Have you asked yourself, "Am I happy in what I’ve achieved in terms of my financial life?" "Am I working too hard?" "Do I feel passionately about what I’m doing?" "Do I feel there is more?" "Can I achieve even more?"

Each of us has an innate knowledge that, if listened to and trusted, can empower and propel us through life. Unfortunately, we get into the habit of not knowing. So, how do you know when you’re not trusting your own wisdom?

Let’s do a simple exercise. Close your eyes and think of an instance when you made a decision according to what you wanted. It needn’t be an earth shattering moment; it can be as simple as ordering from a restaurant menu. Notice how you feel: your breathing and your body is relaxed, you feel in sync. Now, think of a time when you made a decision based on someone’s advice that you weren’t comfortable with. Notice how you feel off, out of sync; your body and your breathing tighten.

Paying attention and listening to what you are communicating to yourself sounds simple, but it’s essential.

Another way we give up our power is by trying to be in control. Often, when we’re overwhelmed by emotions or the amount of work that needs to be done, we go into hyper-drive to get a handle on things. But we still feel lost and no more in control than when we started. That’s because acting in control is not being in control.

Fake authority leaves you feeling weak, scattered, heavy. You get a sinking feeling. Real authority grounds you. It gives you a sense of completeness, of peace. Real authority comes from your inner knowledge, your truth. Does that mean you won’t ever feel overwhelmed again? No. But it does mean you won’t get stuck or ruled by emotions or events.

Kelly left her job to pursue her own consultant business full time. The dream she imagined soon turned nightmarish as she became overwhelmed with all the details. Even though she had worked part-time as a self-employed consultant, she feared she wouldn’t be able to make as much money as she had at her previous job and found herself doubting the business plan she created that had convinced her that she could do it on her own – all of which left her curled up most nights, weepy and feeling out of control. Then one morning, as she was waiting for the coffee to be made, she organized that small area in her home office that she would call her "cockpit." The coffee corner became her "base of operations." Annie knew she loved coffee. She organized things so she knew where her favorite cups were, where the flavorings were. In this space, she calmly went through her plan for the day, prioritizing what needed to be done and focused her energy on the first tasks of the day. Throughout the day, she found herself gravitating to that area whenever she felt out of control or overwhelmed. With that first step she continued to enlarge her safe space both physically and mentally. That cockpit provided a place where she could return to feel in touch with herself, be grounded and renew herself. It wasn’t long before that comfort zone turned into a creative zone where Kelly developed new leads for her business.

Listening to what you’re communicating to yourself, paying attention to how your body is reacting, and getting in touch with your inner knowledge, are basic steps to reclaiming your personal authority. Start taking real control.

As you move through the day making choices, making decisions, pay attention to what your body is telling you. Do you get an easy, comfortable, in-your-own-skin feeling or are you getting a stressed out, tight, not-quite-right feeling?

When you think of following someone’s advice, ask yourself, "does it feel right?" Again, pay attention to your physical reaction. Ask yourself if you would be more at peace following the advice of others or following what you believe to be true.

Don’t confuse ‘being in control’ with your real authority. Look for what you know, a place – a physical one or a place inside you – where you do have knowledge and authority and then build on it.

Go back to your basics: Make lists of your knowledge and your truths. Your lists can be as basic as what your favorite colors are or your favorite forms of entertainment. Then move on and answer: What excites you? What do you feel passionately about? What areas of your life do you want to take to the next level?

Before you go to sleep at night, think of 10 things you know.

Making your life align with your truth, your knowledge and your desires can go a long way toward making your whole life rewarding – from your connection with the Spirit and your connection with others, to contentment in your career and finances.

The power is already in you, it never left. Own it.