When my youngest son was in Europe with his college choir, their return trip home was delayed at London’s Heathrow Airport due to inclement weather. They were pretty tired from touring for two weeks and were headed home to the U.S. from Frankfurt through London. The first unscheduled day in London was managed fairly easily, as the hotel and dinner were provided. 

The next day the young men and women returned to the airport without knowing if they would be able to fly home that day. Heathrow Airport was filled with hundreds of stranded passengers. This made some of the students very anxious and homesick. 

A few of the members of his choir were lamenting that they would probably have to stay yet another day, and they didn’t know when they would get home. Upon hearing this, my son tried to help them out of their funk by showing them what they were choosing. He stated very clearly, “Maybe you [the complainers] aren’t going home today, but I am.” 

He was very clear in his statement, hoping they would follow his lead. He gave his fellow choir members permission to be right, yet stated clearly that he was going to have a different outcome. He told me he was concerned for them, and was trying to help them by leading them with his example! 

What came as a big surprise to him and the others is that only some of the students flew home that day. The airline finally split the group, and his group was assigned to the flight that flew that day. The rest of the choir caught a plane home several days after the first group. 

By not stepping into their version of the reality, my son maintained his integrity. At the same time, he achieved his desire of getting home today so magnificently. He had learned to achieve his outcome even though all available data failed to support it. 

No one had thought of splitting the group until after he made his statement. Certainly it was his desire that everyone get home that day. He understood intuitively that holding his outcome firmly would affect his experience.

Hold your ground

Everyone around you can be telling you it won’t work, or laughing at you for your strange ideas. All you have to do is let it glide over you, or through you. Allow yourself to hear what is being said without allowing it to penetrate your inner sphere. You can receive information, and experience someone else’s reality, without accepting it for yourself. You have a choice. 

One of the fastest ways someone else’s sphere of influence can penetrate your innermost sphere is by your believing what he or she says. In show business they say you need a thick skin. In practical terms, you have to learn to hear those little zingers that get sent out, but to ignore them! 

The boundary of your inner sphere should have the flexibility of a trampoline. When you jump on a trampoline, it first goes down, but then sends you up and away while it regains its flat shape. 

As you look at your inner sphere, imagine it can respond like a trampoline. When a family member or friend pushes in on the sphere it dents. That is you listening to him or her. Then the integrity of your sphere bounces back and returns to its previous shape.