Children need to hear often from their parents that they are loved, no matter what! As babies, they need to be held, nurtured, and reas­sured. They need bonding with their mother, love during the preschool years, structure, order, and regularity. They need to know that when they mess up, when they make a mistake, when they try and fail miser­ably, they are no less deeply loved and cherished by their parents. 

This bonding and nurturing was not available to me during my childhood or adolescent years

I am the second born of the second set of identical twins. My mother endured an uncomfortable pregnancy as well as suffering during a thirty-two hour delivery. In the 1940’s all that was available for anesthe­sia was ether. My twin and I could not come home from the hospital with Mother, because we only weighed three pounds each and were kept in an incubator for the next six weeks.

Mother suffered from ether pneumonia after her delivery, and it was impossible for the “little twins” to receive the proper care, so we were boarded at Hackensack Hospital for six months. Finally, in the fall, Mother’s sister, Claramay, came from New Hampshire to Ridgewood, New Jersey, with her two daughters, to care for us. We were brought home, but our Mother could not physically hold us until our first birthday.

Children long for inner certainty, and hunger to know that noth­ing, absolutely nothing, can make their parents stop loving them. In our house, dishonesty, secrecy, disobedience, and wrongdoing were the norm. There was little sharing or joy, and obedience was enforced through corporal punishment and fear. On the heels of misbehavior came excuses and blame. Money, recognition, and fame were the life goals. There were prizes to reach for, and it didn’t matter what you did to get there or who you hurt in the process.

Because of this breakdown in our family structure, we learned how to manipulate others, not to believe in them, and to take rather than give. We learned competition and control, pushing others back to gain the lead, and were unaware of our underlying sense of disconnection to each other or to Spirit. At the core, we were troubled, fearful, anxious kids, unsure of what caused our apprehension.

When unknowing is consistent, then lack of clarity eats at us and becomes a continuous source of self-doubt and self-recrimination. Since all of us are biologically programmed to survive, we naturally seek to rec­oncile the incongruity between ourselves and our home environment in order to provide a state of security, where we can feel safe and comfortable. Early on, I learned that if I was sick, I got attention and was rather safe.

When I was eight, I became ill with a touch of TB. I was shipped up to grandma’s to live for a year, which was the beginning of “saving my Soul” as well as my life.

During that precious time I learned so much. Grammie taught me integrity of the heart. There in the Mink Hills of New Hampshire, I received my first nurturing. I felt the touch of God’s love, the glory of the animals, nature, clean air and water, honesty, integrity, and most of all, self-responsibility.

I came to see that the mark of true wisdom is twofold: First, it encom­passes every aspect of our being, body, mind, and spirit. It touches our personal lives as well as our relationships with family, community, and the world.

At the same time, this new lifestyle was so simple, with no need to run, hide, or fear. I was able to feel inwardly and thought, “Yes, I knew that!” or “Of course, this is natural.”

There was a sense of reawak­ening to an understanding that Grammie believed was inherited through her Penobscot Indian heritage, and her mother’s ancestor generations. When we are open and touched on this deeper level, truth is instantly translated from a thought into active, workable solutions to our upsets and problems.

Such were the lessons of truth that flowed from Grandmother’s sha­man wisdom, ceaselessly. Not as platitudes, but as practical expressions of the supreme wisdom that brings success, health, enduring happiness, and love of the Divine into all circumstances of life.

She filled my mind with a universal harmony and taught me that I could meet any challenge to my wellbeing. Her motto was, just listen. Get quiet, open your heart and your ears, and listen. “The heart has its reasons which Reason knows nothing of.”

Grandmother Hemphill was a woman with profound common sense. Grammie was a true shaman, although I had never heard of that word at the time.

Whenever I was feeling weak and tired and it became hard for me to breathe, my grandmother got the special sit-upon she had woven for me out of straw and told me to go out across the brook to a certain big pine tree on the hill. She explained that the tree could help me get strong again.

“Sit down by the roots of the tree and lean back against it,” she instructed. "Soon you will feel strength coming into you from the tree. Wrap yourself within that energy. Pretend you are becoming the tree. Imagine yourself melting into it. After a while, when you begin to feel stronger, come on back. And don’t worry; I’ll watch you from the back porch window while I do the washing and ironing."

I was amazed to find that it always worked. I would sit against the tree with my back against the trunk, and I would pretend to be a branch of the tree or a bird in flight. I would daydream about nature and the little animals. I pretended that the tree could breathe and talk to me.

That pine tree told me some amazing things! After about an hour, feel­ing stronger and breathing more easily, I would reluctantly get up and walk back across the little brook to the house. During those times under the pine tree I was filled with a particular kind of delight.

I felt as if the tree were a cushion, a back rest, soft and enveloping like a great big pillow.

A verse I remember singing a Hymn in Sunday School has some­thing of that same feeling:

This is my Father’s world 

And to my list’ning ears 

All nature sings

And round me rings

The music of the spheres.

I did Time Out before it became the fad of nowadays. In the early fif­ties, it seemed that most parents routinely yelled at or spanked their chil­dren when they misbehaved. I certainly got plenty of spankings, slaps and smacks at home. Grammie, however, had her own way of correcting children. “What good is disciplining a child, or giving her some kind of restriction, such as time out, unless she can understand why?” Grammie said. 

When I did something to upset my grandmother, she would put her hands on her hips, while tapping her right foot. Then she would hand me my sit-upon and instruct me firmly to go out to my pine tree. “Don’t come back in this house until you can tell me what you did to get me so angry,” Grammie would say.

“You must strive to understand your mistakes and learn by them. If you can explain to me what the upset is all about, in your own words, I will know that you learned something about yourself. After all, what good is punishment or spankings unless a child can see the error of her ways? Now go!”

Grammie would stand over me with her fin­ger pointing out the back porch toward the tree. She did point her finger a lot when she explained things, but she never pointed it directly at me.

How my heart would break when Grammie was upset with me. I loved her so much. Off I would go and sit and sit, replaying the actions in my mind until I could begin to figure things out. When I would return to Grammie, I felt tears of sorrow and regret but also a great relief. Vowing I would never make that mistake again, I would put my sit-upon away and try to reassure myself that everything was back in order again.

Grammie listened patiently as I explained to her my folly. If at times I didn’t completely understand what I had done wrong, she would guide me and show me through examples until I understood the mistake. She never scolded me if I couldn’t explain clearly, but guided me to think some more.

She always had a chore for me to do when I returned from the pine tree, like sweeping the porch or putting the lunch dishes away. Then she would smile, thank me for helping her, and all my sorrows would magically disappear.

I had to go to the pine tree every time I was naughty, even in the rain, just as long as it wasn’t too cold and there wasn’t any lightning. “A soft, summer rain never hurt anyone,” Grammie would explain. “The birds and little creatures love a summer rain. God sends many messages with the rain, as he does with all natural life.”

Even now, after all these years, I smile as I step outside to feel the raindrops against my face in a soft, summer rain. I can often feel my grandmother’s presence then. It brings me sweet peace.

Some afternoons Grammie would work on the spinning wheel on the back porch as I watched. It was almost like magic the way Grammie could keep the wheel going with a regular tap-tapping of her foot on the wooden pedal and, at the same time, change the cloud of wool into yarn as it passed through her fingers. The spinning wheel made a whispery, clickety sound as she spoke.

“This wool comes from our sheep family,” Grammie explained. “It has to be made into yarn so we can knit it into clothing and blan­kets. Many people don’t think about how a sheep gives its coat for our benefit and how we give that sheep food and a safe place to live. We and our animal kingdom depend on each other, and we both benefit each other. Our connection to the natural world is a wonderful thing, but most people don’t feel a part of it at all. Many people lack respect or understanding about why the animals, birds, insects, plants and water were put on this planet.

“When you learn the mysteries of the natural world, you will learn about universality and balance. Knowing about the natural laws can open your eyes to compassion and sharing. You begin to see beyond yourself and into the needs and wants of others. Every animal, every insect, every flower has a purpose, as does every human being. Each one brings a gift to planet Earth. It is very important to understand this lesson.

“Harmony and balance are the keys to a successful life. You must never hate or want to hurt someone back. God takes care of karma, or getting even, not us humans.”

As our world civilization moves forward, the need for a means of achieving physical, mental, and spiritual harmony and balance is emerg­ing as an absolute necessity. Today, those concepts and methods taught over the centuries are being adopted by scientists, religious leaders, and experts in the physical and mental health fields bringing Light and vital insight to help guide everyone with the current ongoing and vital chal­lenges facing us humans. 

As we move through the teens of this new millennium, and our Spiritual Light Body is ignited with new higher dimensional energy, we are ready to embrace the challenges and changes of this marvelous time and walk in the footsteps of the Divine, as an inherent rite of passage. It’s time to embrace our connection to everything within this Universe, which is so willing to bring to us universal harmony and our own, per­sonal Unlimited Realities.

©2017 by Elizabeth Joyce. All Rights Reserved.