Ask Your Pet

Dear Jennifer,

I have a two year-old cat named Muffin who just doesn’t seem to like me. I try to play with her, buying her all sorts of toys, but she’ll play with them with my boyfriend and not me. She often leaves the room when I enter it. When I pick her up to try to snuggle her she jumps out of my arms.She’s affectionate with my boyfriend, but not me. Can you please tell me why and what I can do about this?

Thank you,

Linda

Dear Linda,

I wouldn’t say that Muffin doesn’t like you. From Muffin’s perspective, you’re having a clash of wills. She says that you always want things your way. And, since she’s a very catlike cat, she always wants things her way. When you try to do things your way she responds by leaving, sulking,or going to your boyfriend instead.

Muffin says that she goes to your boyfriend both because she’s more comfortable with his energy, and to try to make a point. She wants you to understand that she’s just more comfortable with his approach to her.She says he basically lets her come to him, doesn’t try to push affection or interaction on her when she doesn’t seem interested, and if she doesn’t seem like she wants to play, he’ll put down the toy and not worry about it. She says if you have a toy and she doesn’t want to play with you, you keep trying and get upset and frustrated, and it makes her feel like she’s disappointing you.

My advice would be to pull back. Send Muffin feelings of love and calm and acceptance. Tell her you love her and she’s a good girl. Let her come to you rather than picking her up for affection. Don’t try to play with her if she seems like she just wants to relax or is engrossed in something else. But, if you think she might be in the mood to play with you, go ahead and give it a try. If she’s not responsive, immediately stop and tell her you understand that she doesn’t want to play right now and it’s okay. Then, just try again at a later time.

I think that if you adopt a more relaxed attitude towards your relationship with Muffin, she’ll begin to seek you out more, and you’ll have much more of the affection and interaction you’re seeking. It might take time for Muffin to see this change and adapt to it, so please be patient with her. But, she does love you, and I think she’ll be very pleased to have a closer relationship with you.

Many Blessings,

Jennifer Dickman

JenniferDickman is an Animal Communicator, Reiki Master-Teacher specializing in Animal Reiki, and Intuitive Counselor. She conducts phone and email sessions worldwide. She maybe contacted at Jennifer_Dickman@ymail.com, or through her website, www.JenniferDickman.com, where her MP3s "Journey to Contact Your Animals in Spirit" and "Deep Relaxation" are also for sale.To subscribe to Jennifer’s newsletter and receive a free copy of her essay,"Five Things Your Cat or Dog Wants You to Know", please email Jennifer with the word "Newsletter" in the subject line.