Imagine that all people liked you, even loved you. They would treat you with respect, support you and be there for you in times of need. What would that be like for you?

Normally, that would relax you, put a smile on your face and calm you down. That is what life would be like and what it would feel like if all human beings were enlightened.

But the reality is different. We want to be happy and strive for it but we don't realise that we often bring forth happiness from a state of lack. This only works in the short term, if at all. We start wanting the same thing again. However, we don't change our tactics, but trample along the same path, having the same experiences over and over again. Somehow we are at a loss and no longer understand the world. Admitting this would be fatal and embarrassing, as we would be showing weakness. So we carry on as before and this cycle repeats itself over and over again.

For most of my life, this happened to me in the same way. But at some point, I faced the challenges of life and have now reached a point where I would like to teach you the essential basics of life in a simple way. If you walk this path, happiness and inner peace will not only last for a moment for you but will become your basic feeling.

Life normally starts well for us, as we come into the world as healthy beings. But that changes over time because in the first few years there are always situations where we feel abandoned or don't get what we want or need at that moment. This creates inner injuries that we have been carrying around with us ever since and that shape us.

Since we are all dependent on our parents up to a certain age, we develop strategies during this time on how best to deal with our life circumstances and the difficulties that occur in them. The strategies consist, among other things, of substitute satisfactions in order to be able to shape and cope with life in the best possible way. A substitute satisfaction is a replacement for something that you would need at that moment but you are lacking (love, affection, connection = something that gives you stability).

We reward ourselves, for example, with food, new clothes and jewellery, or distract ourselves with social media. We use this kind of satisfaction to no longer have to feel the pain that the wounds have left in us. In the worst case, we even hurt ourselves in some way or we become addicted (e.g. drugs) and thus escape or deny ourselves to life.

However, this doesn't make the internal injuries disappear. They remain. Instead of healing and bringing ourselves into balance, we accept the circumstances over time and adapt to them more and more. But we protect our heart in order not to be hurt again and thereby suppress our love. Instead of talking to each other and staying away from bad people and situations, we meet them stoically. We are no longer ourselves but drive through life with the handbrake on. Over time, this becomes our normal state, since we have learned how best to react in certain situations and we will do this exactly the same way time and again. Life has become a game whose rules we know.

Unfortunately, no one has taught us how life works and how we can heal our inner wounds in order to live a fulfilled and happy life. That is why we remain hurt, struggling through life and suffering. It is up to us to change this. It is possible.

When we learn how life works, when we can discover it, appreciate it and feel it as something beautiful, then we become happy. Furthermore, if we learn about the systems and mechanisms of life and apply them, we heal ourselves bit by bit. To do this, we need commitment, stamina, as well as the will to regularly reflect on ourselves and open ourselves up to new ways of thinking and behaving. When we successfully take all these steps, we reach a 'natural' state in which we live authentically, act out of love, and trust life. This highest stage of development that we can achieve as a human being is called enlightenment.

Becoming enlightened is the goal of being human. In the Western world, we usually only become enlightened in the second half of our lives, as we primarily focus our lives on raising a family, gaining prestige, as well as achieving financial and emotional stability. The value of enlightenment is placed rather low in comparison. Moreover, it is linked to a development process that repeatedly demands attention, energy, openness to new paths and, in a sense, money from us.

The strong foundation on which you build your life as an enlightened one lies within you. You are in your centre, balanced, and trust life. You feel connected to everything and have matured into a humble human being who sees him-/herself and others. All of this gives you a high quality of life. You have also learned to detach yourself from your mind with all its judgements and expectations, so that you live consciously in the present moment most of the time. You take on life as it presents itself to you. You accept it because you know that life is not working against you but for you. Therefore, you don’t react with resistance to events that are against your values or morals, but remain level-headed and calm because you are a tolerant human being who accepts the difference, the individual will and the decisions of others.

As an enlightened human being, you have found a new approach to life and no longer feel connected to the old way of life. You now walk your individual path and dedicate yourself to your new task of imparting your knowledge and using your skills in a meaningful way. In doing so, you make a difference and become a role model for many people.

There are different degrees of enlightenment. These are comparable to the daily forms you have and which can vary from time to time. Apart from the living standard of enlightenment, there is an enlightened state that occurs rarely, is very intense and sometimes lasts a few hours or a few days. It is very fulfilling and feels similar to a state of trance or the state in which you are newly in love.

Why is enlightenment worth striving for?

The advantages you have with this standard of living are enormous. You appreciate the uniqueness of life in the here and now. Before, you used to spend a lot of time being in your mind in the past and the future, and let life pass you by. You more or less limited yourself, were unbalanced and stressed, and could not fully develop yourself.

Your perception and attitude towards life are now completely different. When you are enlightened, the search is over, as you have arrived at yourself. This changes and relaxes you. You are free from suffering and lack, you therefore rest in yourself, are balanced and thereby have a high quality of life.

Moreover, you live without expectations and demands. The pressure that was previously felt in your life is gone. You no longer have to prove anything to anyone, you don't need success and you don't judge yourself or others. Everything is good the way it is, it is allowed to be that way and it has its meaning.

Through your knowledge of the interrelation in life, you have become a happy, social and wise human being who has healed his/her inner injuries, who is a balanced human being, who feels connected to everything and can cope with any situation in life. You now feel free, you are no longer attached to anything, you are no longer open to attacks, you are acting selflessly and don't want to harm anyone.

You have evolved to the point where your thoughts and feelings no longer get out of control and you generally remain positive. Therefore, you no longer end up in emotional chaos. You are happy and appreciate life, no matter what it has to offer you. You can also satisfy your basic needs yourself without having to rely on others. As a result, you are balanced, take good care of yourself and stay healthy.

Your whole thinking and acting change. While everything used to revolve around you, you now think and act for the benefit of a community. You exchange with others and each side inspires the other, so that there is a balance of give and take.

Your approach to money also changes. You no longer buy anything to make yourself feel better and you don't need status symbols to impress others. So everything seems positive to you. This relaxes you and you have more time for the things that are close to your heart.

You discover life anew every day and encounter it impartially. You trust your intuition, have inspirations time and again and are in alignment with yourself and nature. You act authentically and live life from the heart. In order to maintain this positive life energy, you regularly withdraw from the world and are grateful for the time you can spend on your own.

As an enlightened one, you are still a normal human being (not a perfect human being). You are now in the stage of life where you feel free, safe and happy and can enjoy life. You have understood the meaning of life and found your purpose. Your life consists of passing on your knowledge about a peaceful, meaningful and happy life to others. In doing so, you are making a difference, and that is the most beautiful reward a human being can receive ...

Enlightenment can be learned. Because of our upbringing as well as our cultural and societal norms and constraints, we have developed against our nature in some areas. This acquired behaviour affects our quality of life time and again …

Sibylle Dörge started her professional life as a musician and teacher. This was followed by business education, several years in music management, psychological training (TA) and postgraduate studies in Expressive Arts (Coaching, Consulting, Therapy). Sibylle has been coaching and counselling people since 2009. So far, she has published four guidebooks as well as numerous articles and blog posts. However, she prefers to pass on her knowledge as a speaker and in workshops. She gained the standard of living of enlightenment at the age of 50.

Purchase info: The e-book costs EUR 16,95/$ 16,95 (depending on the exchange rate). It is only available online at https://wisdomblissenlightenment.com/book.