Insights About Courage

In light of the fact that the world sometimes seems like an unraveling ball of twine and that it has become increasingly difficult to negotiate, it seems to require an ever-greater amount of courage to do so—more so, in fact, than at other times in its history. But what exactly is that important, but not always easily-definable strength?

It can be considered the mental, emotional, and moral ability to brave, face, confront, and endure obstacles and restrictions, some of which may even be threatening to a person’s sanity and survival. Those obstacles only intensify when he does not have the internal resources, tools, and self-confidence to do so.

Fear, seemingly the diametric opposite of courage, opposes it.

“Before I came to Al-Anon, fear was my biggest obstacle,” according to one of its members in its Hope for Today text (Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 2002, p. 58). “My reaction to fear included withdrawing, hiding, procrastinating, running, or berating myself. None of these behaviors helped me to face my fears. In fact, they only made situations worse.”

Indeed, those entering twelve-step programs for the first time must often find a great deal of courage to do so. Aside from just presenting themselves in the designated location, they must usually muster this strength as they reach several successive plateaus, which entail facing their fears, deficiencies, defenses, and weaknesses; sharing for the first time as they bare their souls and describe their difficult pasts in front of strangers in what can only be the equivalent of public speaking; leading or chairing that meeting for the first time; assuming one or more service positions; and probing themselves. That their self-images are most likely only accepted distortions, they usually must uproot what caused them and then accept the true people they were created to be after significant program work.

Courage requires risk and, only after they have had the opportunity to desensitize and challenger their fears, will they be able to take greater ones.

This underscores one of many insights about courage—namely, that it can be gradually and progressively achieved. It can require several attempts to face, move through, and transcend the trepidation, each one enabling the person to conquer it one step at a time. But the fact that he repeatedly does is a measure of continued courage in and of itself.

Everyone’s definition of it is, secondly, different. While many may consider climbing Mount Everest an act of ultimate courage, others view even small acts in this manner. Those who are shy, introverted, isolated, and endured difficult upbringings, for instance, may consider just walking over to some to strike up a conversation a courageous act of their own.

Devoid of self-confidence and social skills, they view obstacles differently from others. And negotiating life in such state may, in and of itself, require courage others do not need to find.

There are several methods of increasing this vital strength.

Identifying and transcending earlier-life pathologies, fears, and traumas, first and foremost, can reveal why it is particularly lacking in them.

Affirmations, such as “I’m stronger than I think” or “I can deal with more than I believe I can” or even “I have it in me to deal with this, even though I don’t always think I do,” can secondly circumvent doubts and allow courage to manifest itself when most needed.

Remembering and acknowledging past demonstrations of courage can prepare a person to face something they consider troubling in the present.

Drawing inspiration from mentors or others who have successfully dealt with similar situations can also provide modeling and strength.

Finally, a connection with God or a Higher Power of a person’s understanding can give him the fortitude and guidance he needs to face the difficulties.

Although fear and courage exist on opposite ends of the emotional scale, there is a paradoxical relationship between them, because one often hinges upon the other.

“Sometimes the things we consider our greatest weaknesses prove to be our greatest strengths,” an Al-Anon member wrote in its Courage to Change text (Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 1992, p. 119). “They provide us with opportunities for growth that we could never have had otherwise. All my life I prayed for courage, but it was through my shyness that I learned that courage was already available to me.”

In the end, it takes courage to face adversity, but sometimes it takes adversity to prove that the person had the courage to do so in the first place.

Robert G. Waldvogel has earned the Interdisciplinary Certificate in Behavioral Health for Late Adolescence and the Emerging Adult and a Postgraduate Certificate in the Fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Treatment at Adelphi University’s School of Social Work. He has led Twelve-Step support groups on Long Island for more than a decade, and created the Adult Child Recovery-through-Writing, and the Strengthening Our Spirituality Programs taught at the Thrive Recovery Community and Outreach Center in Westbury. He is a frequent contributor to Wisdom Magazine.