The Benefits of Twelve Step Program Attendance

Repeated statements sometimes become clichés, because they contain truth and no one is able to refine them. When once asked the definition of that concept, Jesus replied, “Truth is something that never changes.”

That same timelessness is expressed by one of the numerous Al-Anon Program slogans—namely, “Keep coming back”—because the cornerstone of any twelve-step fellowship is the need to return to the source of sharing and healing if a person wishes to recover from the effects of a dysfunctional upbringing. Derailed by these consequences, he is placed back on track in these venues.

One of the reasons for the slogan is that a person may not necessarily understand the value of consistent, long-term attendance, nor initially feel its benefits.

One or more decades of exposure to childhood alcoholism, instability, and possibly even abuse in any of its forms causes an unraveling and warping of the soul, prompting the person to subtly absorb, accept, and adjust by means of defenses, amended strategies, and subconsciously adopted survival traits, such as isolating and people-pleasing, to negotiate a world he believes reflects the one from which he comes. Somehow soldering on and not necessarily aware of his own decline, he learns how to cope, avoid, and circumvent, viewing life through distortions he accepts as reality. His home-of-origin, after all, indicated that they were.

Looking at himself in the mirror one day, he may see a reflection that suggests his physical appearance, but he may not be able to recognize who he is on the inside.

Because he has adopted strategies that somehow worked for him—albeit more on a “survive” than” thrive” level—he is reluctant to relinquish them, unaware that twelve-step program attendance will ultimately eliminate his need for them. Without understanding their healing, return-to-wholeness nature, he may conclude that the effort to “keep coming back” is greater than the reward for doing so.

Recovery requires willful, consistent attendance and understanding that that process is not always linear. There are peaks and troughs.

“At times we see obvious results from our efforts, while at other times we reach plateaus and feel stuck,” advises Al-Anon’s Courage to Change text (Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 1992, p. 135). “If we go on putting one foot in front of the other and continue to work the program, we find that all plateaus eventually come to an end. Just when we reach the end of our patience, a doorway seems to open and we suddenly take a huge leap forward.”

Meetings, like medicine, are locations of strength and places to be heard without judgment or correction. It is here that a person is acknowledged, understood, and mirrored, as the pain in his face is reflected back by another’s. They pull a person out of the quicksand and wrap supportive, stabilizing arms around him. Yet they are more than just physical venues.

“We are often reminded to keep coming back,” Al-Anon’s Courage to Change further advises (ibid, p. 210). “Today I will remember that this not only applies to meetings, but to learning the new attitudes and behaviors that are the long-term benefits of…recovery.”

In essence, the process echoes two other program tenets—that is, “Progress, not perfection” and “One day at a time.”

Exposure to alcoholism, even if the person himself abstains from drinking, results in a disease of body, mind, and soul, and faithful meeting attendance, where a connection with a lifting Higher Power can begin the process of restoration, progressively removes the burden, the obstacles, the defenses, the fears, and the no-longer needed survival traits. Stability, confidence, and self-esteem increase. And, after a long walk through darkness, the light of recovery returns.

Robert G. Waldvogel has earned the Interdisciplinary Certificate in Behavioral Health for Late Adolescence and the Emerging Adult and a Postgraduate Certificate in the Fundamentals of Cognitive Behavioral Treatment at Adelphi University’s School of Social Work. He has led Twelve-Step support groups on Long Island for almost 15 years, and created the Adult Child Recovery-through-Writing, and the Strengthening Our Spirituality Programs taught at the Thrive Recovery Community and Outreach Center in Westbury. He is a frequent contributor to Wisdom Magazine.