The Healing Crisis: Leaving the Numb Zone

The process of healing should be an experience of gradually feeling better as wounds gently fall away and we’re filled with a sense of well being. But the rigors of healing aren’t necessarily neatly packaged. To cure soul wounds requires us to leave the numb zone and become fully alive. We have to feel in order to heal. It takes courage to relinquish the protection that numbness provides and have our hurts fully exposed. First contact with the raw, wild, acute pain hidden just under the surface of our deadness appears insurmountable.

Many of us are discovering parts of our unconscious previously blocked from awareness by a dulling veil. We’re beginning to feel more. The ego has difficulty integrating these beclouded levels of distress chronically generated in past lives and reenacted in childhood. Eager for relief from the surfacing throbbing soul pain, we scurry back to our usual sources of anesthetization. But the soul, stifled in its benumbed world, longs for full contact with sensation in order to fully unfold and experience itself. The road to wellness forces us to go through a healing crisis that seems to exacerbate the agony of lifetimes by dropping us into a torturous hell, however temporary. Is this too big a price to pay for total soul health?

The psyche’s innate resistance to full exposure expresses itself in many ways. We may rise above our guts into the intellect, disconnect from our bodies or attempt to transcend human vulnerabilities with spiritual superiority. Or we simply deaden ourselves with whatever is available.... drugs, alcohol, shopping, TV, workaholism, depression, lack of self-examination, preoccupation with other people’s issues, attempts to control reality, talking ourselves out of our experience and/or shaming ourselves for any sensitivities. There are countless ways to stupefy ourselves into a near-life experience — one of living just on the edge of reality with rubber coats on just in case life gets too close and we have to touch its mirror of our soul.

These buffer zones of desensitization, although cozy, stifle and suffocate us in monotonous insentience. Eager for the dentist’s Novocain to wear off, everyone wants to relish the taste of their food. All conscious or unconscious habits that blunt our experience need to be renounced. We must be detectives, vigilantly committed to uncovering and tracking areas of unfeelingness— poking at them every which way until we finally encounter a twinge of something deep within. Then we can trace that pang to the rich world of feeling that has somehow escaped the death sentence of our anesthetizing habits and holds its integrity of sensation until help finally arrives in the form of penetrating awareness.

The accelerating energies, powerful electrical currents moving through the collective unconscious, are blasting us out of the numb zone. This electricity is catalyzing the Cosmic Life Force — kundalini — to rapidly move through our energy body. When this force hits blockages we’re struck with an intense awareness of the extent of our soul wounds....no longer muffled by numbness. This creates a healing CRISIS. Full exposure to unmedicated soul torments can be so powerful that we’re overwhelmed by shock, disorientation, powerlessness, vulnerability and even shame for having such terrible hurts — as if our soul is irrevocably damaged — crippled for eternity. No wonder we choose the road of numbness! It cauterizes the flow of despair that gushes forth in the wake of these unresolved traumas. The Divine Mandate to heal the soul is daunting in its unveiling of so much unfinished business.

I’m struck by how many of my clients are finally FEELING their lives and becoming aware of disturbing emotions, impulses and buried personalities that clamor for integration. My own healing crisis leaves me begging for new numb zones to diffuse the intensity of my soul’s full emergence. Conflicted about the demands of entry to the emerging consciousness, I have to force myself to remember that this upheaval is a process of healing not destruction, regression or failure. To succumb to discouragement/depression fuels the false belief that things are only getting worse not better.

The healing crisis creates a crossroads. We can allow ourselves to be seduced by the poison being released in the purging of wounds. This toxicity reinforces the false beliefs that have generated these traumas. Or we can hold a steadfast focus on the awareness that our soul is initiating a cleansing of impurities /distortions in order to make way for the liberated Self. It requires lucidity and strength to hold the bigger picture while being bombarded by the concentrated exposure of wounds to a new Light so powerful that all coma-toseness dissipates to expose the core distortions that have troubled our pathway for lifetimes. Regardless of the temporary distress, this is an unprecedented opportunity worthy of humble gratitude.

We may not recognize ourselves during these healing crises. When the numbness dissipates, disowned parts of self suddenly make themselves felt. We feel like a monster. Denied psychic energy returns doubled in force. Volcanic rage erupts to shatter our identity as a gentle being. We must accept and carefully release this fury.

Buried pain may surface in response to a seemingly small situation that unleashes soul suffering locked up in the Tower of the Insensate just waiting for the Divine Timing that initiates the healing crisis. To ask for the soothing balm of Cosmic Love eases the distress and allows us to integrate its impact without breaking our spirit.

Disacknowledged fear creeps in to flood us with the paralyzing influence of free-floating terror. Every step is filled with trepidation as we release the brainwashing effects of false beliefs that project a world to be dreaded, distrusted, avoided, manipulated. This cleansing breaks the spell of cowardice that closed in around the soul like a dark cloak of doom and weakened its glory in the heartbreaking prison of panic. The heart must be strong in its spiritual roots to hold us steady in the storm of awakening that sets us free to heal at long last.

The healing crisis is unavoidable. But how we respond to it is our CHOICE. To avoid succumbing to the false beliefs that generated the poison being purged, all conclusions need to be suspended. We must open to the Mystery underlying this Sweeping Surgery and trust in the Divine Goodness inherent in the process. To forestall a descent into madness/misery, it’s essential to remember that this crisis/sensitization opportunity is the gateway to unprecedented happiness. We can cooperate with these healing energies by allowing ourselves to be unguardedly available to the impact of the wounds being cleansed. With compassionate self-love we gather the insight/wisdom that arises from dismantling frozen soul pockets while strengthening the spiritual muscles that help us to breathe through this rigorous birth process.

Emanating waves of compassion, the Tibetan teaches:

"At this juncture in human history, all poisons must be cleansed from the soul. The kundalini, sparked by increasing vibrational frequencies, leaves no stone unturned in its uncanny ability to target soul encumbrances. Humankind can transmute the poison oozing from the boils of affliction now being lanced. But this turbulent process appears too difficult to manage/integrate.

"It seems easier to take refuge in the assumption that self is crazed.... with no recourse except to try harder to benumb all sensitivities in order to function. From a distancing insensate cocoon self attempts to wait for the transformational heat to finish its work. But it’s wishful thinking to try to "ride out" such a powerful passage for humankind.

"No longer able to tolerate anything that would muffle their full embodiment, all souls are materializing into an impeccably clear Divine expression. Crisis blasts of healing indicate a profound spiritual emergence that appears to be an "emergency." Be prepared for shock when the kundalini bestirs feeling to long-anesthetized hurts. Self must submit to the discomfort that brings attention to these wounds. There’s no need to create suffering when all that is happening is a release of buried pain.

"As numbing defenses succumb to the power of kundalini blasts, self may "hit bottom" ... fully surrendered to a metamorphosis that unfolds a path of ease, comfort and safety.

The sheer impact of the uncharted new consciousness is colliding with familiar haunted places that have repeatedly imprisoned the soul. The only choice is to move forward and leave the past behind....having INTEGRATED the wounds, not sidestepping them through a transcendence that circumvents the sensation of the soul.

"The heart — ultimate gateway to the new consciousness — generates/houses feeling. It’s impossible to walk the path of the heart while insentient. If steeped in deadness, self cannot register the heart’s wisdom. Insensitiveness must dissolve. Yield to an aliveness that augments the hearts’ message. Travel inward into the far crevices of the unconscious to release all obstructions to full awakening. Be totally available to the accelerated energies. This is an Initiation that requires spiritual muscles to hold the focus on the New Destiny .... a 5th dimensional state of Joy, Soul Health, Wholeness and Grace.

"This immense healing crisis is also occurring in the intergalactic family because earth and humankind are an essential part of the intergalactic body. The earth plane’s metamorphosis has profound repercussions on the greater Universe. Because of the far-reaching imprint of this healing-crisis Initiation, the Divine Plan has dispatched legions of assistance/support to everyone. All of the Ascended Masters, Angelic Force and Ancient Ones are Present at this turning point ....embracing and encouraging each beloved student to walk through the Cosmic Healing Fire without getting burned...simply transfigured."