My endless list of "needs" are never totally fulfilled. The Universe must be turning a deaf ear to the abundance affirmations stuck to my bathroom mirror. Has it forgotten about me? Making it seem so easy, books on manifesting prosperity promise that if I simply hold a strong focus and readiness to receive while stating these affirmations, all requests will fall in my lap. It must be my fault. Maybe I’m not doing the affirmation correctly. Or, is my mountain of unworthiness, fear of success/prosperity and attachment to scarcity/failure jamming up the gates to the Universal Slot Machine that pours out endless bounty when you hit just the right combination?
Determined, I redouble efforts to break through this insurmountable blockage by willfully pushing harder with my intention. Surely I can crack this abundance riddle and allow the treasure chest of goodies, that spiritual people insist is available, to flood my life with "enoughness." I don’t want to fail "New Age Manifestation Course 101" and have to resign myself to being ripped off by the Universe for not delivering "the goods" that I’m told I so richly deserve. So I waffle between struggling to crack the Cosmic Safe that holds my inheritance of abundance and resigning myself to living life on "crumbs," trying to accept this minimal sustenance without too much repressed rage.
Sometimes I do register abundance — when feeling open, receptive to the fullness and willing to be happy with what I have even when entertaining fantasies of more. I drop to my knees in gratitude when I’m able to acknowledge all the good stuff in my life. Needing to take a deep breath to let it all in, it’s almost scary to feel such fullness. Tears of joy gush forth as I realize that my "cup runneth over."
However, fluctuating between the extremes, self-pity and resentment about the lack of rewards for all my hard work soon re-surge with a vengeance to squash this short-lived wealth consciousness. I try to embrace the negativity with compassion while following its clues to the unfed parts of self still waiting for attention. If I can do the work of remembering that all experiences are fed by Source’s generosity, then I can embrace the illusion of starvation/impoverishment with curiosity and gratitude.
Is this abundance craze that many of us are struggling with simply old-fashioned greed dressed up in New Age clothing? Are we trying to make up for previous lifetimes of self-imposed poverty because we now realize what a mistake it was to employ pauperism as a demonstration of our spiritual purity? Or maybe we’re beginning to master the issue of abundance in order to release all victim mentality of hardship and suffering? How do we know when enough is enough? Are we becoming abundance addicts?
We usually focus abundance concerns toward the arena of money/possessions but our ability to perceive amplitude affects all areas of our lives — relationships, love, creativity, inner peace, work/service, home, community. We’re challenged with the duality of have vs. have-not. If we’ve had a lifetime habit of withholding what we really desire from ourselves, the psyche backs up with gobs of yearning that keeps nipping at the edge of our reality. Cranky from unsatisfied hunger, we compulsively perceive the glass half empty. This blinds us to whatever areas of fullness do exist because the resentment for having to accept less wicks the gratification out of moments, however fleeting, of enoughness.
As we step away from the ego, our personal definition of abundance changes. This detachment helps to probe the source of the false belief that insists, "There is never enough." What is it that really allows us to feel full? If we try to fill up on desires that feed the ego, we may be overlooking important "food groups" for our soul. We’re invoking abundance in ego-based areas which superficially gluts us but leaves a gnawing hunger in the belly of the soul. The ego overrides the soul’s craving by wanting more and more and more — like a spoiled child who smashes a new toy in a temper tantrum because its the wrong color. Maybe that toy wasn’t what the child really wanted — like receiving a book for Christmas instead of a sled. It’s impossible to recognize abundance if we’re looking for it in the wrong places. The soul’s needs are very specific, nonnegotiable and unsuseptible to manipulation.
Many of us have tried to learn to accept what we’re given in life. But deep inside there is a disappointed child who hopes for more. That "more" gets buried by our resignation, and we forget what it is that we really want. So we latch onto what we assume should make us happy — more money, more possessions, more love, more space, more land, more adventure — whatever. But if we’re not scratching the deepest itch (our soul’s needs), then the inner child forever pouts in dissatisfaction and ruins the bestowals of the moment. We have to dig deep to discover what we really want/need because most of us don’t know. The soul excites in our willingness to even ask the question. This is the beginning of real abundance in our lives.
I’m now living the questions: "What needs are essential to a joyful acceptance of my life?" "What affirmations reflect my soul’s wish list?" As I live more within the terrain of my soul I seem to need less and less — not because I’m renouncing human necessities but rather an increasing awareness of my evolutionary razor’s edge guides me to the true pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It all boils down to perception. Rather than struggling to have abundance, I’m learning to behold the experience of prosperity. As I unload the illusion of being robbed of the divine birthright of having all needs copiously fulfilled, I set foot on the real Altar of Affluence that gushes forth in all areas of my life.
The Tibetan, rich in smiles of approval, teaches:
"Humankind assumes that Source gives only 'left overs' to Its earthly children. The illusion of survival based on 'crumbs' creates humanity’s ravenous appetite for more. The collective false belief: 'There is not enough to go around.' feeds the general assumption that self has to endure scarcity in at least one area of life. This catalyzes the inner 'wolf' to aggressively devour its fair share of the pack’s prey in huge mouthfuls. But to master abundance requires SAVORING the fullness of every morsel of experience. The fear that compels humanity to 'wolf down' life’s gifts makes it difficult to register the great bounty that fills each day. Abundance is discernible when one’s essential needs are met with the expectation that Source has indeed provided humanity with an extravagant banquet overflowing with nourishment for the soul’s evolution. Because there is SO MUCH, like a rich dessert, self swoons with the pleasure of relishing each bite.
"Students arrive in the Land of Abundance when they experience an internal fullness that becomes the filter through which they perceive the glass half empty or full. Then a little goes a long way which alleviates attachment to desires while enhancing one’s receptivity to his/her fair share of the cosmic bounty designed to fill the soul. Develop a life filter that registers quality, not quantity, by refining the sensitive "taste buds" that recognize the essential amplitude imbued in everyone’s experience, regardless of circumstances. All life pathways have equal opportunity for enlightenment — the truly abundant spiritual gift of being human.
"Students wonder whether they should try to be content with what they have by appreciating the completeness in the moment vs. wanting more in order to evolve. Why not hold both simultaneously?!
"To register gifts already overflowing in one’s life allows self to see and trust the Divine Plan at play and to remember to count blessings — view the glass more than half full. This teaches that current life situations are gifts — tremendous opportunities for learning — that include all the resources the soul needs to transform through these blessed assignments. One’s yearning for more, the magnetic pull from the Higher Self, helps to magnetize the student forward to the next level of authenticity, creativity and illumination by releasing obsolete forms of scarcity based on unworthiness.
"To bask in the wealth of one’s current conditions, coupled with a voracious hunger for the 'more' of self’s potential, creates an exquisite dance — filled with Divine Dynamic Tension — that sparks transformation and creative initiative while ushering in deep inner peace and receptivity. Ultimately, abundance requires a perceptual shift. Students who only recognize scarcity and not-enoughness clog their reception valve with dissatisfaction and a gluttonous hunger — ironically obscuring the goodness in their experience. Abundance consciousness is contagious and naturally draws more abundance.
"Allow this understanding to be one’s perceptual filter of wealth. Dare to be unconditionally satiated with all that the moment brings, and trust that this very contentment will be the magnet that draws expanding good fortune. Freedom from attachment to abundance allows students to automatically receive without even asking as they bask in showering light particles of generosity. Drink deeply from the glass that is already full and overflowing as the ultimate invocation to prosperity."
Moriah Marston, soul mentor in private psychotherapy practice since 1983, combines her tools of soul-based astrology and depth dream analysis with her intuitive blend with Ascended Master Djwhal Khul’s metaphysical perspective on karmic belief systems to her penetrating multidimensional approach to healing and transformation. Specializing in phone sessions for individuals and couples, Moriah delights in cracking the riddles in your soul and in your relationships. A channel for Ascended Master Djwhal Khul ( the Tibetan) Moriah is the founder of the School of the Golden Discs -a center for metaphysical teaching and spiritual exploration. She offers group intensives nationwide and is the author of Soul Searching with Djwhal Khul, the Tibetan. 413-625-6754, Shelburne Falls, MA. moriah@transformationaltimes.com Visit: www.transformationaltimes.com.