Choosing To Love

Love is the fundamental energy that underlies all of life. It is the never-ending “glue” that binds us all together. Love is there, within each and every one of us, if we let ourselves go deep enough within to feel it in our hearts.

At times, it is challenging to be in touch with that love, because we can get easily overshadowed by other kinds of feelings, such as fear, depression, self-doubt, or unhappiness. The love is still there, waiting to be experienced, yet the other feelings can fill our consciousness and keep us from dipping into that well of love deep within.

Such negative feelings can “rear their ugly heads” when our old subconscious programming gets triggered. For example, we may feel tremendous love for someone, and then suddenly they say or do something to us that unconsciously reminds us of all the relationship partners we’ve ever had in the past, who criticized us and made us feel inadequate.

All of a sudden, the tremendous love we were feeling for that person disappears, and we find ourselves angry, hurt, and wanting to get even with them. For the most part, it has nothing to do with that person. Their words or actions simply triggered our old programming about how the opposite sex treats us, and we became overwhelmed by all the old feelings we once suppressed in our past relationship dealings.

Being willing to look at and release this old programming is crucial. You can learn to let go of these “chains” that bind you to the past, but you must understand what is taking place. When a person you love “presses your buttons” and triggers old hurt or anger, you must be willing to forgive yourself for how relationship partners treated you in the past. Then, you need to be willing to look at whatever programs you must have that elicit such behavior in those you love.

In truth, the people around you only give you what you expect from them at an unconscious level. When you expect people to treat you abusively, or not accept you for who you are—based on how your mother or father treated you when you were young—people will respond accordingly. This takes place energetically. It’s as if people continually read your energy and respond to your deepest subconscious beliefs of what you expect from the people who love you.

Love is real. It is there within you, waiting to be felt. But if your early childhood experiences were about being ill-treated by those who loved you, you have unconsciously learned to equate love with being treated badly. Therefore, when anyone loves you, you will start to expect them to treat you badly too, The mind thrives on the familiar, and we unconsciously continue to perceive situations in the way that we perceived them before..

You may attract a person who is very loving and giving, but part of you will be “on the lookout,” for the first time that person says or does anything that doesn’t feel good to you, and once that happens, they become one of the “bad guys” you have come to hate or resent from your past. At this point, the love you shared with them seems to fly out the door, and only negative feelings remain.

You now have a choice. Do you continue to CHOOSE to view the person as if they are exactly the same as all the other men or women you have had issues with from your past? Or, do you roll up your sleeves and get to work re-wiring your old programming, in order to create new and different relationship experiences?

Old programming can be cleared. However, you must be willing to tell the truth about it, and its power over you. Most importantly, you must be willing to let go of blame. As long as you blame the person who has triggered your old programming, you will never get to the love. You will be forever stuck in “being right” that they are bad, can’t be trusted, and not someone you want to be with. Your programming thus squelches all potential love between you.

If you are willing to let go of being right about your negative beliefs, and forgive yourself for yet another manifestation of those old pesky programs that make you “nosedive into darkness,” then you are well on your way to choosing love, and pulling yourself back to a higher, more loving place.

Start to tell yourself:

I now choose love.

I let go of being right that men (or women) treat me badly.

I deserve love.

It’s safe to let love in.

I forgive myself for the hurt I’ve created in my past relationships.

You may even try:

I’m willing to forgive my mother... father… or past relationship partners for not accepting me or for treating me abusively.

These statements of positive intentions will slowly work their magic, and help you return to choosing love. It may not be an instant turnaround, but it is important that you are willing to start that process. Remember, you could “be right” forever about your negative beliefs. Or, you could choose to love.

Your choices, in each moment, will determine the quality of your life. The more you choose love—or at least, work to FREE yourself to choose love, the more loving and supportive all your relationships will be, and the more peace you will know in your heart.